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Post by Dave Walker on Jun 30, 2004 14:32:37 GMT -5
You've all heard them and chuckled, out loud or to yourself. After the fact, you marvel at the slip, or blatant stupidity. I'm curious what people have heard. I'll think of others I've encountered, but here's a start:
"I can't believe someone would do that in day broadlight."
"What's the point in expressing my opinion when nobody agrees?"
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Post by nightfalcawk on Jun 30, 2004 14:39:57 GMT -5
You've all heard them and chuckled, out loud or to yourself. After the fact, you marvel at the slip, or blatant stupidity. I'm curious what people have heard. I'll think of others I've encountered, but here's a start: "I can't believe someone would do that in day broadlight." "What's the point in expressing my opinion when nobody agrees?" Most of these quotes come from my mom... "Put your mouth where your teeth come from!" "Why is the water coming up so close to the shore?" "You're teaching the kids to curse f*ck head!" "Whatever boats your float." "Pick of the crop." This one is not from my mom: "I told you, I have mono! (kid to teacher who was using the same kleenex box as me)" |
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Post by mummifiedstalin on Jun 30, 2004 14:47:44 GMT -5
Guy in a mall talking to his wife while holding a tie up to his neck:
"Do I like blue?"
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colemanfrancisfan
Moderator Emeritus 
Open wide, Lady Liberty. Because CFF is coming to America! Today!
Hey, ladies, I have all my teeth
Posts: 11,300
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Post by colemanfrancisfan on Jun 30, 2004 15:02:26 GMT -5
one time I said, "Oyster Point Hamily Fealth Center on Line 4!" When I should have said, "Oysrer Point Family Health Center Line 4!" Ahh, I am a delight.  |
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Post by roxy18 on Jun 30, 2004 22:07:43 GMT -5
mother to 17-yr-old son who refused to wear a visor to tennis match:
"It's not a fashion contest, honey."
elderly woman to her husband:
"John, John! We need to pull over...I need to have a b.m."
Junior in high school to herself while watching "Last of the Mohicans:"
"Hawk Eye? oh, I get it...like a hawk's eye."
Mr. Hansen, idiot-extrodinaire, to psychology class before watching an "educational film" on how bodies sexually mature:
"Now, there's some parts in here...and if you can't handle 'em, just look down at your desk or something, I dunno...close your eyes, and I don't want to hear giggling!"
Justin Timberlake's answer to this question: "Have you read anything recently?"
A. "What? like a book?"
"Is this chicken I have or is this fish?"-Jessica Simpson
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Post by Buddhist Kitten on Jul 3, 2004 13:59:35 GMT -5
Most of these quotes come from my mom... "Put your mouth where your teeth come from!" "Why is the water coming up so close to the shore?" "You're teaching the kids to curse f*ck head!" "Whatever boats your float." "Pick of the crop." Your mom is hilarious. My favorite: "Put your mouth where your teeth come from!" |
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Post by nightfalcawk on Jul 3, 2004 14:03:06 GMT -5
Your mom is hilarious. My favorite: "Put your mouth where your teeth come from!" Sadly, she's trying to be serious. |
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Post by Buddhist Kitten on Jul 3, 2004 14:09:38 GMT -5
Sadly, she's trying to be serious. Did you ever just laugh at her and she says another one of her ridiculous statements? |
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Post by Phantom Engineer on Jul 3, 2004 14:14:56 GMT -5
"As a comic in all seriousness..."
Bobby Bittman from SCTV.
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Post by nightfalcawk on Jul 3, 2004 14:16:25 GMT -5
Did you ever just laugh at her and she says another one of her ridiculous statements? That's how you get the ridiculous statements. |
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Post by Buddhist Kitten on Jul 3, 2004 14:17:56 GMT -5
That's how you get the ridiculous statements. "My apricot taste less like an orange than a strawberry does!" PAIN DON'T HURT! |
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Post by Phantom Engineer on Jul 3, 2004 14:18:13 GMT -5
That's how you get the ridiculous statements. That's what I do with nightfalcawk. |
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Post by Buddhist Kitten on Jul 3, 2004 14:50:34 GMT -5
Hello? Night? Um, I have to leave now.
BYE!
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Post by carolina on Jul 3, 2004 18:21:50 GMT -5
I always get dumb-dumbs at the bar:
idiot: "can I get a rum and Coke?"
me: "okay.. any particular kind of rum?"
idiot: "um, Smirnoff?"
at least three of these per shift.
also, I had my thirteen-year-old cousin look me straight in the eyes and tell me she's a "miscellaneous person" because she listens to two different kinds of music
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Post by Dave Walker on Jul 3, 2004 18:53:03 GMT -5
also, I had my thirteen-year-old cousin look me straight in the eyes and tell me she's a "miscellaneous person" because she listens to two different kinds of music The rum thing was good, but that beats all. I have cousins around the same age and I'm just waiting. But, as a supplement: in a car - "Why won't the door open?" it's locked "I have a button that makes the car slow down" is that the brake or a parachute |
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