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Post by Captain Hygiene on Jan 23, 2008 21:58:03 GMT -5
Well, there was this smokin' hot blonde with big *is fired for sexual harassment*
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Post by Mr. Atari on Jan 23, 2008 23:40:22 GMT -5
Women be different from men...
...because of the presence of a second X chromosome.
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Post by Weirdo Writer on Jan 24, 2008 0:17:32 GMT -5
How many Poles does it take to screw in a light bulb?
Only one, unless they only have one hand, in which case they'll need one other person to help.
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Post by Donna SadCat Lady on Jan 24, 2008 0:30:01 GMT -5
Waiter, there's a fly in my soup!
Oh, I'm terribly sorry! Here, let me get rid of that bowl for you. Would you like another bowl? You won't be charged for it, of course. Again, I'm really sorry about that.
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Post by Cerrita on Jan 24, 2008 1:01:36 GMT -5
Knock Knock Whose there? Police, we have a warrant. Just a minute. *flushing noises* Perfect. There are three lawyers buried to their necks in cement. What do you have? A horrible construction accident.
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Post by mrsphyllistorgo on Jan 24, 2008 1:43:40 GMT -5
A man goes to a psychiatrist....
and after many years of Freudian analysis, realizes that his unresolved feelings for his parents are behind his current marital unhappiness.
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Post by (busdrivertohell) on Jan 24, 2008 10:10:32 GMT -5
So this guy walks into a bar and sits down...
.. and he orders a couple of beers, tries to hit on a couple of ladies, plays a game of darts, drinks some more, then he drives home but is pulled over by the cops and arrested for driving under the influence of alcohol.
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Post by siamesesin on Jan 24, 2008 10:23:38 GMT -5
Why was six afraid of seven?
Actually, as they are units belonging to an abstract mathematical system and subject to specified laws of succession, they do not have emotions. Thus it was a fallacy to anthropomophize the behavior of a sum of units.
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Post by Donna SadCat Lady on Jan 24, 2008 10:44:47 GMT -5
(Heh, that's good, Sia!)
Yo' mamma is so fat... that you should encourage her to get a thorough check-up from her doctor and start on a moderate program of exercise and a healthier diet. This will help her substantially reduce her risk of many life-threatening illnesses.
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Post by (busdrivertohell) on Jan 24, 2008 12:57:35 GMT -5
So this newlywed couple are lying in bed...
... sleeping.
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Post by Captain Hygiene on Jan 24, 2008 14:00:56 GMT -5
What do you get when you cross an elephant with a whale?
This question is patently absurd for several reasons. Ignoring the fact that the creatures are of vastly different species, and are thus genetically incompatible, it is quite unrealistic to think that one of these animals (even in heat) would recognize the other as a potential mate. Beyond this, even if a scientist were to make the ill-advised attempt to create this type of hybrid in the laboratory, what possible positive results could even be expected? Ignoring the question of whether or not the artificial cross-breeding is even possible, in what environment could the resulting creation be expected to live? It would be suited neither for an aquatic life nor a terrestrial life.
The submitter of this question is advised to seriously consider an alternate path in his or her career, as the most basic knowledge of biology has apparently eluded them. Perhaps one of the simpler careers outside of the sciences, such as English, would be a better fit for their capabilities.
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Post by Afgncaap5 on Jan 24, 2008 15:01:06 GMT -5
How many saxophonists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Five. One to get it done, and four to talk about how Boots Randolph would've done it.
...what? What, that's really how we saxophonists act.
Wait, no, you can't throw me out of the conversation thread! No! Noooooo!
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Post by solgroupie on Jan 24, 2008 15:51:22 GMT -5
a one-armed guy walks into a bar and the bartender says, "hey, we don't serve your kind." and the one-armed guy gets a really good lawyer and sues the hell out of him.
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Post by siamesesin on Jan 24, 2008 16:18:53 GMT -5
Dick Cheney shot a man in the face.
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Post by vanhagar3000 on Jan 24, 2008 17:24:03 GMT -5
Knock Knock
Whose there?
Land Shark!
*Chomps away*
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