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Post by Don Quixote on Jan 24, 2008 20:26:13 GMT -5
There's a priest, a rabbi, and an imam aboard an airplane. The airplane's engines go out, and the pilot tells them:
"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! WE'RE GONNA F***ING CRASH! I REGRET EVERYTHING!"
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Post by vanhagar3000 on Jan 24, 2008 20:52:45 GMT -5
Knock Knock
Knock Knock
DAMMIT STEVENSON! OPEN THE DAMN DOOR! I KNOW YOUR IN THERE AND YOUR SIX MONTHS BEHIND ON RENT!
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Post by (busdrivertohell) on Jan 24, 2008 22:44:32 GMT -5
This guy is stranded on a deserted island when he sees a lamp wash up onto the shore, so he goes over and picks it up and rubs it...
... he can't get the tarnish off of it, so he can't use it to signal any passing ships.
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Post by Mr. Atari on Jan 25, 2008 12:43:47 GMT -5
What's the difference between black people and white people?
White people have names like Lenny, and black people have names like Carl.
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Post by vanhagar3000 on Jan 25, 2008 12:46:30 GMT -5
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because it's head was chopped off and it didn't know where it was going.
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Post by (busdrivertohell) on Jan 25, 2008 15:53:09 GMT -5
What's the difference between a member of the Westboro Baptist Church, a member of the ACLU, and a Nazi?
One wants God in everything, one wants God out of everything, and one thinks Hitler is God.
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Post by Don Quixote on Jan 25, 2008 16:22:52 GMT -5
For a good time, call:
The One you Love.
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Post by (busdrivertohell) on Jan 25, 2008 17:42:57 GMT -5
The quickest way to a man's heart is by tearing a hole in his ribcage.
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Post by vanhagar3000 on Jan 25, 2008 17:48:12 GMT -5
What's black and white, and red all over?
Multiple things. A newspaper. A zebra under the red sun. A bloody nun, just to name a few.
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Post by Captain Hygiene on Jan 25, 2008 17:50:44 GMT -5
Two fat men were enjoying some drinks together at the bar. The first one said, "Your round."
The second one paid up, and they both enjoyed several more beers that evening.
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Post by Don Quixote on Jan 25, 2008 17:59:33 GMT -5
I just crapped my pants.
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Post by (busdrivertohell) on Jan 25, 2008 23:24:15 GMT -5
A man walks into the post office with a package. He goes up to the counter and tells the clerk 'I want to mail this to iraq'. The clerk helps him fill out the customs form, weighs the package, and asks for the address so he can put it on a label. The man says 'I don't have an address, i just want this sent to any unit'. The clerk notifies the police, the man is taken into custody and questioned thoroughly. The package is quarrantined and bomb dogs are called in. The man is sitting in jail for 3 years before the government reveals the content in the box to be cookies. The man loses his job and his wife leaves him.
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