Game: Riff the Credits!

[Bart Fargo]

Ah, many a gem can come by riffing on people's names and what they do. MST riffed on a lot of credits in their time, but some they didn't do a lot of.
This evens things out.

The first victim here is Manos: The Hands of Fate
Credits:

Director, producer, writer, and Michael: Harold P. "Hal" Warren
Tom Neyman .... The Master, set designer
John Reynolds .... Torgo
Diane Mahree .... Margaret
Stephanie Nielson .... Master's Wife
Sherry Proctor .... Master's Wife
Mary-Robin Redd .... Master's Wife
Jackey Neyman .... Debbie
Bernie Rosenblum .... Teenager in Car
Joyce Molleur .... Teenager in Car, stunts
William Bryan Jennings .... Cop
Jay Hall .... Master's Wife
Bettie Burns .... Master's Wife
Lelanie Hansard
Pat Coburn
Pat Sullivan
George Cavender .... Cop

Russ Huddleston ... Original Music
Robert Smith Jr. ... Original Music

Robert Guidry ... Cinematography

Ernie Smith ... Film Editing
James A. Sullivan ... Film Editing

Thomas Ivy ... Costume Design

Jacqueline .... makeup artist

Jay O. Lawrence .... production supervisor

Stephane Goulet .... property painter (uncredited)

Bruce Shearin .... sound

Bernie Rosenblum .... stunt coordinator

Norma Friedman .... script supervisor
Frank Bernard Rosenblum .... key grip
Jesse Simon .... electrician

Let's see what kind of riffs we can get out of these...

[TV's Cowboy]

"John Reynolds .... Torgo"

Reynolds wrap. Keep's freshness in can't keep Torgo out

I know that was just a joke from Mitchell reworded but that's all I can think of right now.

[Detective Mitchell]

Jacqueline .... makeup artist

Oh, a realtive of McG, Kaos, and all those music video directors with trendy one-name names.

Bernie Rosenblum .... Teenager in Car
Yes, Bernie has a rose in bloom.

[Ator]

quamp said:

Stephanie Nielson .... Master's Wife
Sherry Proctor .... Master's Wife
Mary-Robin Redd .... Master's Wife
Jackey Neyman .... Debbie
Bernie Rosenblum .... Teenager in Car
Joyce Molleur .... Teenager in Car, stunts
William Bryan Jennings .... Cop
Jay Hall .... Master's Wife
Bettie Burns .... Master's Wife

Wow, look at all the Master's Wives! Looks like the MST3K Review Board or somethin'...

[losingmydignity]

Tom Neyman: "Nay, Tom, nay, don't do it, nay!"

Robert Smith Jr. :Joel: "Hey, the Cure guy had a son"
Crow: "Yeah, and he's a bastard. He made the music for this film."

Thomas Ivy: "Yeah, Thomas to his friends, Poison to the people's acting careers."

Bruce Shearin: "Hey, it's Bruce 'pinkin' Shearin."

Joyce Molleur, teenager in car, stunts: "Oh, come on every teenager learns to do that in the car--what's the big deal."

Sherry Proctor: "John's daughter married! Does she have a big M on her dress? Burn her, Burn her, she's a witch."
and...

"Tom Neyman, the master set designer...NOT!"

William Byran Jennings: "Chief Justice at large!"

[Miss Interoceter]

Can you believe it? They actually are taking credit for their work!Director, producer, writer, and Michael: Harold P. "Hal" WarrenBut he really wants to grip!
Tom Neyman .... The Master, set designer Who was the minor set designer?
John Reynolds .... Torgo He played knick-knack on his knee
Diane Mahree .... Margaret Mmm. Mahree-Mahree.
Stephanie Nielson .... Master's Wife
Sherry Proctor .... Master's Wife
Mary-Robin Redd .... Master's Wife So which one was it?
Jackey Neyman .... Debbie Oh I thought Debbie was a marionette doll.
Bernie Rosenblum .... Teenager in Car Leo Mayer's secretary picked out his stage name for him!
Joyce Molleur .... Teenager in Car, stunts
William Bryan Jennings .... Cop Is he related to William Jennings Bryan?
Jay Hall .... Master's Wife No, he was Dennis the Menace!
Bettie Burns .... Master's Wife So we don't let her cook, ha!
Lelanie Hansard
Pat Coburn
Pat Sullivan People too bad to even be given roles.
George Cavender .... Cop

Russ Huddleston ... Original Music
Robert Smith Jr. ... Original Music What idiots.

Robert Guidry ... Cinematography And no one ever hired him again.

Ernie Smith ... Film Editing
James A. Sullivan ... Film Editing I don't think these people edited enough.

Thomas Ivy ... Costume Design Fashions by Thomas Ivy of Gotham City.

Jacqueline .... makeup artist See this lady's taking no chances on being identified.

Jay O. Lawrence .... production supervisor Yeah right, he was the beer guy.

Stephane Goulet .... property painter (uncredited)

Bruce Shearin .... sound Bruce Shearin who forgot to record any sound.

Bernie Rosenblum .... stunt coordinator So sitting in a car kissing a girl is a stunt?

Norma Friedman .... script supervisor There was a script?
Frank Bernard Rosenblum .... key grip
Jesse Simon .... electrician
All right, let's get out of here.

[Buddhist Kitten]

Diane Mahree: Mrs. Phillys Torgo.
Jackey Neyman: Only innocent soul in the participation of this film.

[Bart Fargo]

O.k., here's how I would have done it...

Director, producer, writer, and Michael: Harold P. "Hal" Warren
You know a production's in trouble when someone does more than three things at a time

Tom Neyman .... The Master, set designer
But he's best at painting that picture of the Master!

John Reynolds .... Torgo
You know, I just don't understand why he committed suicide shortly after this film's release.

Diane Mahree .... Margaret
Dennis the Menace's menace?

Stephanie Nielson .... Master's Wife
Sherry Proctor .... Master's Wife
Mary-Robin Redd .... Master's Wife
Jay Hall .... Master's Wife
Bettie Burns .... Master's Wife

But they're now involved in that feminazi quintet "Death to male sexist masters everywhere!"

Jackey Neyman .... Debbie
"Oh Debbie/ Queen of the underground/ The show is over..."

Bernie Rosenblum .... Teenager in Car
Any relation to Jeff?

Joyce Molleur .... Teenager in Car, stunts
Sorry, even breaking your leg couldn't get you out of this film.

William Bryan Jennings .... Cop

Lelanie Hansard
Pat Coburn
Pat Sullivan
People who didn't want to be associated with this film and are covering up their roles in it!

George Cavender .... Cop

Russ Huddleston ... Original Music
Came up with the haunting Torgo's theme.

Robert Smith Jr. ... Original Music
Would later father Robert Smith Sr, who is now in the Cure...

Robert Guidry ... Cinematography

Ernie Smith ... Film Editing
James A. Sullivan ... Film Editing

They had two people editing it and this was they best they could do?

Thomas Ivy ... Costume Design

Jacqueline .... makeup artist

Jay O. Lawrence .... production supervisor

Stephane Goulet .... property painter (uncredited)
Can't blame her for wanting to keep her name off the credits.

Bruce Shearin .... sound

Bernie Rosenblum .... stunt coordinator

Norma Friedman .... script supervisor

Frank Bernard Rosenblum .... key grip
Obviously a case of nepotism here...

Jesse Simon .... electrician
He's responsible for the 1/2 watt lightbulbs that lit several scenes.

Keep going! Another set of credits to come soon!

[Detective Mitchell]

Well, until quamp posts the next set of credits, here's the credits of MITCHELL

Cast (in credits order) complete, awaiting verification
Joe Don Baker .... Mitchell
Martin Balsam .... James Arthur Cummings
John Saxon .... Walter Deaney
Linda Evans .... Greta
Merlin Olsen .... Benton
Morgan Paull .... Salvatore Mistretta
Harold Stone .... Tony Gallano (as Harold J. Stone)
Robert Phillips .... Chief Albert Pallin
Buck Young .... Det. Aldridge
Rayford Barnes .... Det. Tyzack
Todd Bass .... Child
Jerry Hardin .... Desk sergeant
Lilyan MacBride .... Rich lady
Rob Narke .... Customs officer (as Robin Narke)
Sidney Clute .... Rudy Moran
Duffy Hambleton .... Edmondo Bocca
Carole Estes .... Prodence Lang
Vicky Peters .... Helena Jackman
John Ashby .... Burglar
Bill Sullivan .... Don Townsend
Jim B. Smith .... Sgt. O'Hagen
Charles Glover .... Officer Danziger
Charles A. Tamburro .... Helicopter pilot (as Charles Tamburro)
Gary Combs .... Helicopter officer (as Gary M. Combs)
Stan Stone .... Sergeant
Tom Lawrence .... Bel Air patrolman
Alan Gibbs .... Mustang hood
Dick Ziker .... Alley hood #1
Phil Altman .... Alley hood #2
Bob Orrison .... Mistretta hood #1
Gary McLarty .... Mistretta hood #2
Paul Nuckles .... Mistretta hood #3

Directed by
Andrew V. McLaglen

Writing credits
Ian Kennedy Martin (written by)


Produced by
R. Ben Efraim .... producer
Benjamin Melniker .... executive producer
H.T. Morrison Jr. .... associate producer

Original Music by
Hoyt Axton (song 'Mitchell')
Jerry Styner

Cinematography by
Harry Stradling Jr.

Film Editing by
Fred A. Chulack

Set Decoration by
Fred Price

Costume Design by
Dave Grayson

Production Management
Maurie M. Suess .... production manager

Second Unit Director or Assistant Director
Anthony Brand .... second assistant director
Jerry Ziesmer .... assistant director

Art Department
Marty Wunderlich .... property master

Sound Department
George Fredrick .... sound editor
Herman Lewis .... sound mixer

Special Effects by
Chuck Gaspar .... special effects

Stunts
Denny Arnold .... stunts (uncredited)

Other crew
Elizabeth Atkinson .... production secretary
Don Enright .... assistant to producer
Wayne Fitzgerald .... title designer
Steve Gore .... post-production assistant (as Steven Gore)
Clifford Hutchison .... chief electrician
Tom May .... key grip
Michael Preece .... script supervisor
Richard Tim Vanik .... camera operator (as Tim Vanik)
Glenn Wright .... wardrobe

Production Companies
Allied Artists Pictures Corporation [us]
Essex Enterprises

Distributors
Allied Artists Pictures Corporation [us]
Reel Media International [us] (worldwide)
Startime Video (video)

[Bart Fargo]

Detective said:

Well, until quamp posts the next set of credits, here's the credits of MITCHELL

Cast (in credits order) complete, awaiting verification
Joe Don Baker .... Mitchell
Martin Balsam .... James Arthur Cummings
John Saxon .... Walter Deaney
Linda Evans .... Greta
Merlin Olsen .... Benton
Morgan Paull .... Salvatore Mistretta
Harold Stone .... Tony Gallano (as Harold J. Stone)
Robert Phillips .... Chief Albert Pallin
Buck Young .... Det. Aldridge
Rayford Barnes .... Det. Tyzack
Todd Bass .... Child
Jerry Hardin .... Desk sergeant
Lilyan MacBride .... Rich lady
Rob Narke .... Customs officer (as Robin Narke)
Sidney Clute .... Rudy Moran
Duffy Hambleton .... Edmondo Bocca
Carole Estes .... Prodence Lang
Vicky Peters .... Helena Jackman
John Ashby .... Burglar
Bill Sullivan .... Don Townsend
Jim B. Smith .... Sgt. O'Hagen
Charles Glover .... Officer Danziger
Charles A. Tamburro .... Helicopter pilot (as Charles Tamburro)
Gary Combs .... Helicopter officer (as Gary M. Combs)
Stan Stone .... Sergeant
Tom Lawrence .... Bel Air patrolman
Alan Gibbs .... Mustang hood
Dick Ziker .... Alley hood #1
Phil Altman .... Alley hood #2
Bob Orrison .... Mistretta hood #1
Gary McLarty .... Mistretta hood #2
Paul Nuckles .... Mistretta hood #3

Directed by
Andrew V. McLaglen

Writing credits
Ian Kennedy Martin (written by)


Produced by
R. Ben Efraim .... producer
Benjamin Melniker .... executive producer
H.T. Morrison Jr. .... associate producer

Original Music by
Hoyt Axton (song 'Mitchell')
Jerry Styner

Cinematography by
Harry Stradling Jr.

Film Editing by
Fred A. Chulack

Set Decoration by
Fred Price

Costume Design by
Dave Grayson

Production Management
Maurie M. Suess .... production manager

Second Unit Director or Assistant Director
Anthony Brand .... second assistant director
Jerry Ziesmer .... assistant director

Art Department
Marty Wunderlich .... property master

Sound Department
George Fredrick .... sound editor
Herman Lewis .... sound mixer

Special Effects by
Chuck Gaspar .... special effects

Stunts
Denny Arnold .... stunts (uncredited)

Other crew
Elizabeth Atkinson .... production secretary
Don Enright .... assistant to producer
Wayne Fitzgerald .... title designer
Steve Gore .... post-production assistant (as Steven Gore)
Clifford Hutchison .... chief electrician
Tom May .... key grip
Michael Preece .... script supervisor
Richard Tim Vanik .... camera operator (as Tim Vanik)
Glenn Wright .... wardrobe

Production Companies
Allied Artists Pictures Corporation [us]
Essex Enterprises

Distributors
Allied Artists Pictures Corporation [us]
Reel Media International [us] (worldwide)
Startime Video (video)

Dang! I was going to post this! Well, go ahead and riff away...

[Miss Interoceter]

Wait! Are there winners to the first game?

[Miss Interoceter]

Joe Don Baker .... Mitchell Mittens!
Martin Balsam .... James Arthur Cummings The touch of class our film needs.
John Saxon .... Walter Deaney He plays that John Saxony type character.
Linda Evans .... Greta What's worse? Playing a drug addicted hooker or sleeping with Joe Don?
Merlin Olsen .... Benton Bet he could use a Pick-Me-Up bouquet.
Morgan Paull .... Salvatore Mistretta Or was he Gallano
Harold Stone .... Tony Gallano (as Harold J. Stone) I think they mean Mistretta
Robert Phillips .... Chief Albert Pallin Have you seen his upper lip anywhere?
Buck Young .... Det. Aldridge His last name used to be Nekkid.
Todd Bass .... Child You know what happens to those child actors, right? Let's all rejoice it happened to this kid!
Jerry Hardin .... Desk sergeant Desk sergeant? Wasn't he on Bewitched?
Lilyan MacBride .... Rich lady Obvously somebody's mother!
Rob Narke .... Customs officer (as Robin Narke) What the heck happened there? Myra Breckinridge disease?
Sidney Clute .... Rudy Moran Sidney Clute? I bet he knows Jane Fonda!
Duffy Hambleton .... Edmondo Bocca He killed Baretta's wife right?
Carole Estes .... Prodence Lang \
Vicky Peters .... Helena Jackman/the acrobats
John Ashby .... Burglar It's not for me to say, huh?
Charles A. Tamburro .... Helicopter pilot (as Charles Tamburro)
Gary Combs .... Helicopter officer (as Gary M. Combs) pick you initials and stick with them boys!
Alan Gibbs .... Mustang hood Larry Miller.
Paul Nuckles .... Mistretta hood #3 See? It's no wonder he's only a hood with a name like that!

Directed by
Andrew V. McLaglen And you studied with John Ford?

Set Decoration by
Fred Price If the price is right!

Other crew

Steve Gore .... post-production assistant (as Steven Gore) And internet creator.

Production Companies
Allied Artists Pictures Corporation [us]
Essex EnterprisesI didn't know S's had sex.

Distributors
Allied Artists Pictures Corporation [us]
Reel Media International [us] (worldwide)
Suddenly it's about "us" is it? Oh! I can't even talk to you anymore!

[Bart Fargo]

interoceter said:

Wait! Are there winners to the first game?

<Mr. B Natural mode>
Why, everyone's a winner, as long as you have the spirit of music in you!
</Mr. B Natural mode>

Seriously, there are no winners or losers here. It's just for fun.