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Post by Miss Interoceter on Apr 7, 2004 15:21:01 GMT -5
The overwhelming majority want to find out what happened to the Space Mutiny gang so let's find out! Did they ever make it to that planet they were headed for? Did those witch girls need to stop off at the next Spencer's Gifts for more electricity globes? Are there annual Enforcer races that are held? And what of the clothes and hairstyles? Did anyone ever buy a mirror and realize how ridiculous they looked? I know my sister-in-law still hasn't! But mostly there's the people. The folks we love and the one's we love to hate! There's Santa, Sting, Debbie Reynolds, Slab Beefrock, Calgon, Lobster Boy, Cane Man and that dead girl who got the second chance! (I guess seeing as how God actually was her co-pilot, it's no big deal she was resurrected!) Anyway, let's get the thinking caps on people! What ever happened to the gang from Space Mutiny!?
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yousonuva
Moderator Emeritus 
I'm not insane but I am King of the Universe
Posts: 14,309
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Post by yousonuva on Apr 7, 2004 15:42:34 GMT -5
An anti-sex extremist tour group walks in on Chunk and his grandma Lea, where they find the two nakedly rubbing their faces on each other. The group proceeds to encircle them and bash them to death with some sledgehammers that were laying around (finally!).
The Ballarians sense what just happened and find absolutely no reason why the human race should be spared as they all huddle in a big circle, start swaying to and fro and hit the "Death of the Southern Sun by Mustard Gas Self- Destruct" button. Of course they realized all to late that the films producers couldn't actually afford real ballarians and they proceed to die a slow torturous death, themselves.
The only surviver out of all of this is of course Kalgon, because, well you just can't kill this a-hole. After 20 years of piloting the Southern Sun, looking for a planet that harbours life, he finally comes across one and starts to turn into it's atmosphere. This is it! finally! glory!......until he chokes on a chick pee, and promptly dies a slow torturous death. and you know what?......I'm glad.
We then see Revived Susie sitting and leaning against her desk with her eyes closed. She slowly opens her eyes and starts to laugh. Humanity is saved! but not really.
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Post by TV's Cowboy on Apr 7, 2004 19:05:12 GMT -5
That lobster guy from what I heard after the movie got killed by the folks at Red Lobster because they thought he was an actual lobster. His parents sued Red Lobster for killing their son but the ordeal was settled out of court when the restaurant chain gave them a free gift card to any Red Lobster on the Soutern Sun.
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Post by hookemhorns on Apr 8, 2004 9:09:17 GMT -5
Beef Slab and Aging Chick try desparately to consummate their special relationship. (An aside ... I presume this film was not trying to strike a blow against the Hollywood perception that all leading ladies must be young, and that actresses over 30 have only limited appeal to the studios, so why was someone so old cast in this part, other than the fact that she was the director's daughter and was undoubtedly hard up for work?) They are able to fool around but never in completely satisfying ways. It then becomes apparent that all the steroids and hours at the gym have taken their toll on Beef Slab's libido and ability to function in certain ways, if you know what I mean and I think you do. Since this is the 1980's, Viagra is not around yet, and REAL MEN DON'T CRY OR TALK ABOUT THEIR FEELINGS. (I don't know why but that felt like it had to be capitalized.) The unhappy couple secretly begin to wonder why they were attracted to each other in the first place.
An Ugly Row finally ensues one night on the ten square foot dance floor at the cheesy dance club on the Galactica flagship. The straw that breaks the camel's back occurs when Aging Chick waves her butt in Beef Slab's face and steps on his toes one too many times. Over the pulsing techno music, Beef Slab starts yelling at Aging Chick that she has flabby thighs and a big butt and varicose veins. The music dramatically stops. Aging Chick retorts that Beef Slab can't get it up, that he smells like sweaty socks, that he could never truly pleasure her, and that she faked every single big-o with him. Beef Slabs genitals further shrink and his humiliation is deepened because the patrons of the club surround them, cheering Aging Chick on with Arsenio Hall woofs.
Convinced that he will never score with any of the women on the ship, whether due to his humiliation or own physical limits, Beef Slab leaves the ship and begins working at a nearby Gold's Gym planet as a trainer. He works out seven times per day, uses recreational drugs, and likes to grope women.
Aging Chick begins to wonder if she made a mistake dumping Beef Slab when none of the men on the ship under 60 with have anything to do with her. She finally finds a wealthy octogenarian who is taken with her physical charms, marries him, and laughs all the way to the bank when he dies on their wedding night.
Kalgon leaves the ship and launches a line of bath products.
The rest all die when the fleet is attacked by a menacing horde of giant insects in space.
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Post by Bart Fargo on Apr 8, 2004 10:33:31 GMT -5
Steve Godel was placed in a capsule and ejected from the spaceship. Eventually, his body ended up crashing into comet #248982-PK-1987. This knocked the comet off course and sent it into the star known as Vega.
Lt. Lamont (the dead girl that came back to life) ended up getting a job as a mercenary and dying 2,438 times. Every time she magically came back to life again. She earned quite a reputation for taking on very tough cases and getting suicidal jobs done.
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Post by losingmydignity on Apr 13, 2004 0:27:21 GMT -5
Miss I, how long do we have to play? I want to watch Space Mutiny again this weekend before playing.
My mind is a terrible thing in waste...
In other words, I need to refresh it...
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Post by nightfalcawk on Apr 13, 2004 11:41:11 GMT -5
They remembered they were capable of quantam tunneling at will (teleportation) and tunneled to a lush world of greenery and life with dancing elves and Janet Jackson. Then Blast Hardcheese goes and destroys the world mining for weight gain powder and the "young" daughter of Santa gets Alzheimer's.
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Post by Miss Interoceter on Apr 14, 2004 14:57:54 GMT -5
You've got time, lmd, watch away.
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Post by losingmydignity on Apr 21, 2004 0:28:47 GMT -5
Tonight, boys and girls, our story is entitled: Don't Look in the Basement.
Once upon a time there was a big hunk of sinew and flesh called Daddy Hardchunks. He married Granny and had the world's oldest baby. Shrivled, wrinkled, looking like a cross between Iggy Pop and Edward G. Robison (apolgies to Woody Allen), the baby was the hit of Sherry's next birthday party, a bash that featured a performance of Dead Girl walking on water.
Old baby was frankly unimpressed, and ordered Dead Girl bound up with hoola hoops and Sherry too. "It's my birthday now," he commanded, comandeeringly, and asked for the Commadores to play at his bar mitzvah, which was kind of strange since Daddy Chunkballs and Granny weren't jewish. Well, nevermind.
At the bar mitzvah Sting joined in a white reggae version of All Night Long, which went something like this: "All NIght Long, all night, Oi!, all night Oi! We're gonna have a party, OI!" etc. Angered that this song was not in fact a Comondores song, Old Baby demanded that Sting be taken away by the police and have every step he took watched, and etc. He then took Santa aside and said, "Things are gonna be changing here a little bit on old Battlestar Galactica from now on, my man. And so began...
[SPACE MUTINY 2: THE VEXED GENERATION
....to be continued
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Post by losingmydignity on Apr 27, 2004 1:16:25 GMT -5
....and little Old Baby went HAH, all night long! "Now that's a song," Old Baby told the Commodores, and had them banished to the boiler room, uh, I mean the bowels of the ship. "See I'm a talking head and I make all the rules around here. See."
Little did Old Baby know he was being watched. Scar tissued steaming monkey mad Calgon was waiting in the wings.
Slababs, Granny, and Santa retired to a corner to have a chat. A little chat about getting the hell out of there...
Dead girl died, strangled in a tangle mass of plastic pink but don't worry...
To be continued...
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yousonuva
Moderator Emeritus
I'm not insane but I am King of the Universe
Posts: 14,309
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Post by yousonuva on Apr 29, 2004 10:07:07 GMT -5
C'mon, when do we get the results and a new game here? I wanna play some more dammit.
And I think the poll was a great idea, interoceter.
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Post by Miss Interoceter on May 3, 2004 22:17:15 GMT -5
All right, time for winners to be announced. I've got to give the nod this week to,
hookemhorns!
Remember everyone, steroids are dangerous things and they don't build up *all* of your muscles! Thank you for that timely and funny poignant reminder hookem. Glad you could join us this time! You win a lobster boy of your own! Don't eat him.
Runner up is yousonuva for his demise of Lea and Chunk at the hands of the Bellarians. THANK YOU! And I'm glad they died too, they were weird, Spencer Gifts and Hot Topic loving freakos. You win a keg of protein supplement, a wife beater tee and a hula hoop. Go rub it on your ass to attract potential mates, I guess.
The rest of you win tickets to see Sting and ride-on floor waxers. Hurry, the races are about to begin!
And by the way, did you all sign Sheri's birthday card? Play again next time!
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Post by hookemhorns on May 4, 2004 7:50:11 GMT -5
Tears fill my eyes as I exclaim ...
You love me! You all really love me!
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Post by hookemhorns on May 4, 2004 7:51:32 GMT -5
By the way ... watched Space Mutiny again over the weekend. My wife fell asleep while watching it. I did not remember it being that bad, but it really was bad ...
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