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Post by siamesesin on Aug 28, 2005 7:08:47 GMT -5
I go on the sideshow circuit and move to Gibsonton, Florida.
You get stuck with a jazz nazi roommate.
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Post by Don Quixote on Aug 28, 2005 18:35:02 GMT -5
(Damn, that's rough)
I convince him that Jazz really isn't about following all the rules. Unable to cope with his behavior, he jumps from the building.
I curse you all with the ability to only have hot dogs taste like anything to you. Everything else tastes like hot dogs too, but it's disgusting for anything else anyways.
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Post by Reuisu on Aug 29, 2005 2:38:33 GMT -5
I defeat the Shadowhog who cursed me with this affliction by telling him the secret codes to Super Kiki Fighter.
You are forced to forever walk around with a sign on you that says, "Kick me in the crotch, I love it!"
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Post by siamesesin on Aug 30, 2005 9:26:13 GMT -5
Grab a pillow and wait for the area to go numb.
You are forced to act as the group psychologist for a bunch of neurotic coworkers, unpaid.
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Post by Afgncaap5 on Aug 30, 2005 10:41:49 GMT -5
I play on their fears, thus creating the perfect work zone where all of the Machiavellian scheming is, in some way, just going to benefit me. I'm effectively calling the shots at the company, thus allowing me to get free food and supplies whenever I wish. This is the life.
Your arm has turned into a trombone.
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Post by siamesesin on Aug 30, 2005 18:08:48 GMT -5
I become a member of the Tonight Show orchestra and hire someone to empty my spit valve, if you know what I mean.
You are strapped to a chair and forced to watch ever Steve Guttenberg movie while he sits next to you and delivers commentary in person.
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Post by Afgncaap5 on Aug 31, 2005 12:34:07 GMT -5
I take the time to debate with Steve Guttenberg about these films, thus turning Stevie into a much, much better actor. The world will thank me, and give me a limitless bank account before Steve's recreation of "Macbeth" becomes the film that unites humanity in world peace.
You ALWAYS have to get fries with your food....and they're ALWAYS oversalted. And yes, they must be eaten.
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Post by Mitchell on Sept 1, 2005 21:00:06 GMT -5
I tear my eyes out of my sockets, get a seeing eye dog and let him eat the fries.
I curse you to imprisonment in a truck stop shower wearing pasties and a turban on "Crenshaw night."
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Post by Don Quixote on Sept 2, 2005 18:34:36 GMT -5
Okay, looks like I'm going to be killing myself then.
I curse your life to be in grainy, 80's bootleg-quality color!
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Post by Afgncaap5 on Sept 2, 2005 22:10:13 GMT -5
I get lots of LPs while they're still cheap and not yet rare.
The world now appears upside down to you.
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Post by Mitchell on Sept 3, 2005 22:28:16 GMT -5
I'll have to wear really dorky glasses with convex lenses to flip the image coming into my eyes.
I curse all your upcoming turds to be square.
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Post by Don Quixote on Sept 4, 2005 17:36:12 GMT -5
I make a fortune in proctological studies, and they give me morphine for the pain.
I curse you all to have the eating/drinking habits of Joe Don Baker!
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Post by Mitchell on Sept 4, 2005 21:19:40 GMT -5
I learn to enjoy being a filthy, gluttonous, drunken slob.
I curse you to have the "wiping" habits of Joe Don Baker.
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Post by Don Quixote on Sept 22, 2005 0:29:17 GMT -5
A new career in scientific research is open to me now.
I curse you with your head becoming giant and stone, like the Easter Island head.
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Post by Mitchell on Sept 22, 2005 16:43:17 GMT -5
You didn't specify which head, and I make a bundle in "adult cinema."
I curse you with the physique of an old marlon brando, the body hair of ernest borgnine, the voice of mike tyson, and the facial features of steve buscemi.
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