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Jokes
Sept 18, 2009 15:07:17 GMT -5
Post by Bix Dugan on Sept 18, 2009 15:07:17 GMT -5
Why did the baker have brown fingers? He was kneading a jobbie. Trumpy- This one needs a little more explaining, to this Yank anyway. But the one about the river Clyde? Laughed Out Loud!
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Jokes
Sept 25, 2009 19:35:58 GMT -5
Post by Trumpy's Magic Snout on Sept 25, 2009 19:35:58 GMT -5
A jobbie be turd innit?
As I said it's a wee joke about certain Scottish phrases and ways of saying things. "I'm needin a jobbie" means needing the toilet. Disgusting yes? It doesn't work very well written down and most non-Scottish people just look at you clueless when you tell it, much like my favourite joke ever about Ayrshire bacon.
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Jokes
Sept 25, 2009 19:39:44 GMT -5
Post by Trumpy's Magic Snout on Sept 25, 2009 19:39:44 GMT -5
A man walks into a pub with a chunk of tarmac under his arm. He sits down at the bar and places the tarmac on another stool.
The bartender asks him what he's drinking.
"A pint thanks, and one for the road"
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Jokes
Sept 25, 2009 19:40:55 GMT -5
Post by Trumpy's Magic Snout on Sept 25, 2009 19:40:55 GMT -5
A blind guy walks into a supermarket swinging his guide dog around his head.
An assistant comes over to him and asks what he is doing.
The blind man replies "oh just having a look around".
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Jokes
Sept 25, 2009 19:44:16 GMT -5
Post by Trumpy's Magic Snout on Sept 25, 2009 19:44:16 GMT -5
The olympics have come to London and the locals are marveling at all the athletes cutting about their city.
One of the locals strikes up a conversation with one athlete after spotting that he has a long vaulting pole,
"Oh so you're a pole vaulter"
"No, I'm German but how did you know my name was Walter?"
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Jokes
Sept 25, 2009 22:00:06 GMT -5
Post by GProopdog on Sept 25, 2009 22:00:06 GMT -5
What do you call four Mexican people in quicksand?
cuatro sinko
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Jokes
Nov 28, 2009 21:28:24 GMT -5
Post by Trumpy's Magic Snout on Nov 28, 2009 21:28:24 GMT -5
A few for ya:
I phoned the pizza place and ordered a thin and crispy Supreme.
They sent me Diana Ross.
Husband to wife: "why don't you tell me when you orgasm?"
Wife: "Because I don't like phoning you at work".
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Jokes
Dec 1, 2009 4:09:11 GMT -5
Post by Dr. Henry Krasker on Dec 1, 2009 4:09:11 GMT -5
I got this from Stephen Fry's twitter feed:
How many Freudians does it take to change a light bulb?
Two. One to change the light bulb, and one to hold the penis... father... LADDER!
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Jokes
Dec 5, 2009 17:56:49 GMT -5
Post by Satchmo on Dec 5, 2009 17:56:49 GMT -5
I got this from Stephen Fry's twitter feed: How many Freudians does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change the light bulb, and one to hold the penis... father... LADDER! Brilliant. P.S. Stephen Fry uses twitter?! Maybe there IS a point to my twitter page after all.
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Jokes
Dec 6, 2009 7:38:03 GMT -5
Post by Trumpy's Magic Snout on Dec 6, 2009 7:38:03 GMT -5
I got this from Stephen Fry's twitter feed: How many Freudians does it take to change a light bulb? Two. One to change the light bulb, and one to hold the penis... father... LADDER! Brilliant. P.S. Stephen Fry uses twitter?! Maybe there IS a point to my twitter page after all. He's only the most prolific Twitterer outside of Kevin Smith.
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Jokes
Dec 6, 2009 12:10:34 GMT -5
Post by Captain Hygiene on Dec 6, 2009 12:10:34 GMT -5
I phoned the pizza place and ordered a thin and crispy Supreme. They sent me Diana Ross. Now that one made me laugh.
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Jokes
Dec 16, 2009 23:08:56 GMT -5
Post by GProopdog on Dec 16, 2009 23:08:56 GMT -5
Q: How many people with ADD does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
A: Oh look, a kitty!
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Jokes
Dec 28, 2009 9:15:28 GMT -5
Post by Bix Dugan on Dec 28, 2009 9:15:28 GMT -5
A mother and her young son were flying Southwest Airlines from Kansas City to Chicago . The little boy (who had been looking out the window) turned to his mother and asked, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"
The mother (who couldn't think of an answer) told her son to ask the flight attendant.
So the boy went down the aisle and asked the flight attendant, "If big dogs have baby dogs and big cats have baby cats, why don't big planes have baby planes?"
The busy flight attendant smiled and said, "Did your mother tell you to ask me?"
The boy said, "Yes, she did."
"'Well, then, you go and tell your mother that there are no baby planes because Southwest always pulls out on time. Have your mother explain that to you."
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Jokes
Dec 28, 2009 12:51:55 GMT -5
Post by Trumpy's Magic Snout on Dec 28, 2009 12:51:55 GMT -5
What's brown and rhymes with snoop?
Dr. Dre
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Jokes
Dec 29, 2009 18:41:39 GMT -5
Post by Continuing Legend on Dec 29, 2009 18:41:39 GMT -5
what did the ghost say to the bee?
Boo, bee!
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