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Post by Mitchell on Sept 26, 2010 8:00:44 GMT -5
I thought by about the 3rd one, Rowling was pretty much just filling in her own Mad Libs. Harry needs to find a (proper noun), so he can fight Voldemort. Along the way, he'll struggle with (emotion) while he fights with Ron over (noun). He also gets blamed by Snape for (verb), which was really Draco's fault. [INSERT BORING, DRAWN-OUT QUIDDITCH DRAMA HERE]. And he'll get into extreme danger during (holiday), which Hermione will inexplicably know exactly how to help him using (Latin-esque spell). Afterwards, no one will believe him, especially (authority figure). No one, that is, save for Dumbledore, but he won't say anything because (implausible plot device). Bam. 10 million copies shipped. Still better than Twilight. OOOH! A GAME! Finally this thread heads in the right direction. Harry needs to find a SAN FRANCISCO CITY WORKER-LIKE INSURANCE SYSTEM SO HE CAN GET SOMEONE ELSE TO PAY FOR HIS TOP-HALF-ONLY TRANNY SURGERY, so he can fight Voldemort. Along the way, he'll struggle with REGRET THAT HE DIDN'T GET THE BOTTOM HALF INSTALLED AS WELL[/B] while he fights with Ron over RON'S SISTER'S ALARMINGLY LARGE CANNON-SHAPED JELLY DONG[/color]. He also gets blamed by Snape for WEARING LAST SEASON'S JIMMY CHOO SANDALS, which was really Draco's fault. [INSERT BORING, DRAWN-OUT QUIDDITCH DRAMA HERE]. And he'll get into extreme danger during PRIDE DAYS[/color], which Hermione will inexplicably know exactly how to help him using RIGOR VIRGA[/color]. Afterwards, no one will believe him, especially DAVID DUKE. No one, that is, save for Dumbledore, but he won't say anything because HIS MOUTH IS FULL. . .ok boo hiss on that last one. I know it was heavy handed, but I had to make up for the low average of tranny, gay, oddly-specific-fascist, not-as-subtle-as-you-think political, go-find-an-online-translator-to-get-that-one, and sick jokes appearing in this thread. Our mean is good now. The variance is a little off but should even out through time provided you don't SCREW IT UP FURTHER.
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Post by siamesesin on Sept 26, 2010 8:56:25 GMT -5
Still better than Twilight. <TYPICAL INTERNET TWILIGHT INSULT>I think the ingredients list for my Pop-Tarts is better than Twilight. <TYPICAL INTERNET TWILIGHT INSULT> I have to do that. It's just too easy. But in a very real sense, we have J.K. Rowlings to blame for Stephanie Meyer. Rowling's going to have to use an awful lot of her money to counteract that level of bad karma.
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Post by Birdgirl90 on Sept 26, 2010 9:36:17 GMT -5
I loved the Twilight series when I was 16 and in high school. But now, at 20, I hate them so much. I hate the middle school fans who run around screaming for their team of choice, I hate how whiny the "heroine" is, and I really don't like the co-dependency theme that I didn't notice when in high school but that I now see with overwhelming clarity.
Still enjoy Harry Potter, though. I like 1-3, skip/dislike enough to not re-read 4-6, and love 7. 7 is the best, if anything just because Ron and Hermione finally got together and Bellatrix was killed by Molly Weasley, of all people.
And Sia's right - Rowling needs to counteract this karma, quick.
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Post by siamesesin on Sept 26, 2010 10:44:56 GMT -5
I'm just saying that if she can kill Robert Pattinson once, it should be okay to do it again.
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Post by Birdgirl90 on Sept 26, 2010 10:59:36 GMT -5
Yes. Please. Maybe multiple times over.
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Post by Don Quixote on Sept 26, 2010 11:10:55 GMT -5
The most distressing thing ever is subbing for fifth graders and seeing about four or five PER CLASS reading Twilight.
My biggest problem with the entire Harry Potter series is the eye dialect she uses for Hagrid. I don't know why it bothers me so much, since I like Mark Twain, but for some reason it does.
The plots seem a bit... pointless at times (more than half the books have a big MacGuffin search in the middle of them), but then I remember the stories are really meant for kids about that age anyway, and let it slide.
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Post by siamesesin on Sept 26, 2010 11:31:25 GMT -5
They're not horribly written compared to some other children's fiction. Plus they're ripe for mockery, which makes me love them.
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Post by ronnieknight on Oct 13, 2010 6:16:35 GMT -5
I'm Hufflepuff.
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Post by Captain Hygiene on Oct 13, 2010 8:06:33 GMT -5
Hard work and patience are good too!
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Post by mummifiedstalin on Oct 13, 2010 9:59:56 GMT -5
Hard work and patience are good too! Good for pussy losers.
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Post by CBG on Oct 13, 2010 10:29:39 GMT -5
Captain loses pussy?...oh, right.
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Post by Crowfan on Oct 13, 2010 12:02:56 GMT -5
Captain loses pussy?...oh, right.
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Post by mummifiedstalin on Oct 13, 2010 12:22:53 GMT -5
It's a multi-purpose post.
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Post by (busdrivertohell) on Oct 13, 2010 14:23:07 GMT -5
Giggity.
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Post by Captain Hygiene on Oct 13, 2010 17:42:54 GMT -5
I don't lose pussy. Pussy loses me.
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