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Post by mummifiedstalin on Dec 5, 2010 14:41:34 GMT -5
I just think you like drawings of little boys being spanked. As long as it's a drawing, it's not illegal! |
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Post by mummifiedstalin on Dec 6, 2010 9:56:53 GMT -5
Now...sometimes, Santa just looks downright creepy. The idea itself is a bit frightening. "Hey, honey. Tonight, an old, fat, red, laughing man is going to crawl down our chimney while you sleep. He knows you. He knows what you did. He's going to judge you. If you've been good, then he's going to leave you something you want. Yes, he knows what you want. If you've been bad, then...well, let's just hope you haven't been bad. Now, go grab a sock so we can hang it over the fireplace. Also, get something for the old man to eat and drink." We've turned Santa into a jolly grandfather figure now and gotten rid of most of his judgmental side. (I know people who thought the Santa from _The Polar Express_ was too mean because he didn't smile and HO HO HO at every moment, and even suggested that he might scold a moderately irritating child.) But for a long time, Santa's presents weren't a guarantee, but a test. That meant that Santa implicitly had a touch of menace to him. Maybe it's not the full-on, beat-you-with-switches menace, but he was still stern. Other times, apparently, Santa was just plain disturbing.  Mom, a hobo's crawling down our chimney dribbling random toys! Is that a good thing?  For some reason, this Santa looks like he belongs on a midnight highway repair crew rather than as an icon of generosity.  This Santa's teeth seem to belong to a different scale. Plus, your toys are going to smell like his feet.  Santa as your neighborhood pusher. Complete with a rather non-jolly and jaundiced paunch.  Santa is knighting meat. Of course. (I get the "Sir Loin" joke...but why do I have to?)  Santa joins the Tea Party!  Santa apparently used to use women rather than reindeer. I think the expression on the front girl's face just screams Happy Holidays!  More of Santa's obvious love of feminism.  Probably Old Man Winter rather than Santa...but, still, the expression is just...just... And this last one is, for me, the single most terrifying pictures in the whole book. I know it's supposed to be a big Santa nutcracker:  But what it really reminds me of are all kinds of horror movie images, even of that dumb Scream mask. But any time I see that unnaturally long mouth like that, like in that one Aphex Twin video, I just want to run and hide. Thanks, Santa. |
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Post by BJ on Dec 6, 2010 10:59:17 GMT -5
And this last one is, for me, the single most terrifying pictures in the whole book. I know it's supposed to be a big Santa nutcracker, but what it really reminds me of are all kinds of horror movie images, even of that dumb Scream mask. But any time I see that unnaturally long mouth like that, like in that one Aphex Twin video, I just want to run and hide. Thanks, Santa. Upon taking x-rays of the painting, experts found an image underneath. here's what they saw.  |
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Post by Captain Hygiene on Dec 6, 2010 12:04:17 GMT -5
I can't see this one as anything but some sort of Anti-Santa, gleefully stealing your children's new toys. |
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Post by mummifiedstalin on Dec 6, 2010 17:50:03 GMT -5
These are probably my favorite. "Merry Christmas! Here's a dead bird."   Even the book's author seems a touch mystified by these, but he takes a shot at explaining them: "A dead European robin frozen from the cold was bound to elicit Victorian sympathy and pity and may reference common stories of poor children freezing to death at Christmas. The 1880s card may have invoked one's own good fortune and that of the card's recipient during the holidays." Yeah, maybe. So would a modern equivalent be like showing a picture of the twin towers on 9/11 with a caption that reads: "Glad you weren't there! Happy Holidays!" |
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Post by solgroupie on Dec 7, 2010 16:11:56 GMT -5
hellooooo new wallpaper for my computer at work. |
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Post by mccloud on Dec 10, 2010 19:37:15 GMT -5
awesome  edit: thanks for the new xmas av, plissken & mummi! |
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Post by mrcleveland on Dec 19, 2010 20:08:47 GMT -5
That's as freaky as a German Children's Story. Speaking of which...in the German Book "Struwwelpeter"...     Yes, in the German Version...that is Saint Nicholas! |
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Post by The Mad Plumber on Dec 26, 2010 13:12:04 GMT -5
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Post by mummifiedstalin on Dec 12, 2011 10:32:54 GMT -5
Gotta bump this one. Let's add some music:
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Post by caucasoididiot on Dec 12, 2011 11:13:17 GMT -5
I just think you like drawings of little boys being spanked. As long as it's a drawing, it's not illegal! Ah, the hentai manga defense. We should review the latest case law on that, just to be sure. But there's still time to order your Ero-kawaii Minisuka Santa if you act now, only $75 at the current exchange rate! |
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Post by mrsphyllistorgo on Dec 12, 2011 17:33:50 GMT -5
Good God. What is wrong with people?
Seriously, has the facial expression denoting "Criminal Derangement" changed that much? Did those straight from hell contortions used to awaken merriment and joy within the recipient's breast? Because if I recieved any of those in the mail from anybody but the ironic hipster down the block I would go immediately to the police. "He's planning to KILL ME! LOOK AT THIS!!"
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Post by KyrieEleison on Dec 12, 2011 21:59:59 GMT -5
I forgot about this thread. I have to say, while I enjoy the heck out of these insane illustrations (to our modern sensitivities), I don't believe I have appreciated the commercialization of Christmas, and the work of the Coca-Cola Company, enough.
Fortunately enough, there's still time to print out a bunch and give them out as Christmas cards this year. I've got a new small group of 7th grade girls that I lead at church, and suffice to say they could use a little incentive to be more well-behaved... ;D
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Post by Ratso on Dec 13, 2011 0:12:51 GMT -5
Thank you for bumping this thread.
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Post by mummifiedstalin on Dec 13, 2011 23:19:34 GMT -5
Thank you for bumping this thread. It needs fresh weirdness, though. Still, I'd forgotten about the dead birds. I'm sending those out this year. |
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