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Post by Mitchell on Nov 19, 2012 21:53:50 GMT -5
THE BACKGROUND
My mother, now that Obama has been re-elected, has gone off the deep end and now insists she won't be able to retire until after she's dead.
In support of this, she is shipping boxes of crap from my family's past to me and my sister. I received my half of this junk and went through it.
THE SETUP
When I was a kid, my parents had a party. At that party one of my father's always classy friends wore one of those Hi-Larious "MUSTACHE RIDES, 5 CENTS" T-Shirts. Being a kid and not knowing, I asked what a mustache ride was. He chortled, but then responded with "It's a kiss." He might have even said a special kind of kiss, but basically said a kiss.
THE PAYOFF
So I'm going through this box of crap, 30 years later, and I run across a note that Little Mitchell had to take home to his mother that said that I needed to stop "offering the girls in his class 'mustache rides.'"
I've always been a bit ahead of the curve.
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Post by Mitchell on Nov 19, 2012 21:54:45 GMT -5
Oh, it was from my third-grade teacher, so it wasn't like I was 14 and knew better. . .
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Post by nondescript spice on Nov 19, 2012 22:54:16 GMT -5
THE BACKGROUNDMy mother, now that Obama has been re-elected, has gone off the deep end and now insists she won't be able to retire until after she's dead. i think your mother and my father might be the same person. this explains so frigging much. |
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Post by mummifiedstalin on Nov 20, 2012 0:06:21 GMT -5
So many things:
1) Your mom seems to have more spare time while she's employed than she will when she retires. So isn't an Obama administration good for her current "work"?
2) I was expecting you to find the t-shirt packed away.
3) I would have asked for that t-shirt.
4) My son's in 3rd grade, and I have trouble imagining him doing something like that, even thinking it's just a kiss. This makes me realize that my son must be behind his peers. Time to start wearing more obscene t-shirts.
5) Since you (probably) didn't have a mustache in 3rd grade, I'm imagining the mental associations must have been strained. Did they think perhaps that you were offering them a "mustache ride" on some other adult's mustache, perhaps? That's even creepier...but awesomely creepy.
6) Why does the fear of not being able to retire cause a person to ship up nostalgic (or even just old) junk and send it to offspring? Again, it seems like there's some strain in the mental associations.
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Post by Mighty Jack on Nov 20, 2012 5:54:28 GMT -5
If this was Paul Harvey, the rest of the story would be that Obama invented the term "Mustache Ride".
-- anyway...
This thread has me laughing. So that means Sloanes is not a total failure.
It also reminded me of my mother. I've become politically apathetic and don't want to hear it, but when I call, mom wont stop talking about how Obama is ruining her life. Everything is Obama's fault. And in fact I think she's certain that the kids who tee-peed her house on Halloween were part of a cabal funded by the Obama administration.
She too keeps sending me things from my childhood and what not. I'm starting to see a pattern here...
Obama + Angry/fearful Mothers = sending stuff to their sons, which frequently spark amusing and/or painful childhood memories, which can be used to create a psychological profile.
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Post by GodoHell on Nov 20, 2012 7:48:52 GMT -5
My Mom's a Liberal, and is already retired, so I ain't gettin' any free poopie.
Shows you what Bill O'Reilly knows.
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Post by Crowfan on Nov 20, 2012 11:43:57 GMT -5
This explains so much.
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Post by siamesesin on Nov 20, 2012 15:19:20 GMT -5
I wish I could get my mom to get rid of stuff. I'm pretty sure she voted for Obama. So I'd maybe think he inspires hoarding in supporters except she's fairly Republican otherwise.
Can I have her send you a box of my old Barbies, Mitch?
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Post by Mitchell on Nov 20, 2012 17:51:31 GMT -5
My mother is VERY liberal. She protested Vietnam. She was one of three people in Michigan that voted for Mondale in '84. She has been a feminist as long as I've known her. Then she got into one progressive tax bracket to high and all of the sudden she's Calvin Coolidge.
Mumms, I wouldn't worry about your kid. When I was in elementary school the cool kids went to the corner of the playground to play kissy-face and I DESPERATELY wanted to be in the group, so I tried to play along. Sort of an early version of fake-it-till-you-make-it.
I don't remember getting chastised as a child about it, either, so I don't think she ever told me. she probably gave a ton of crap to my dad and his "dope fiend" friends, though.
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Post by Phantom Engineer on Nov 20, 2012 18:31:29 GMT -5
I have a whole new empathy for you Mitch. Now take that "I hate Mitchell " quote out of your sig you jerk!
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Post by Don Quixote on Nov 20, 2012 20:54:59 GMT -5
This thread needs more penis jokes.
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Post by Crowfan on Nov 20, 2012 21:14:56 GMT -5
Uranus. My work here is done.
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Post by Dave Walker on Nov 20, 2012 23:30:56 GMT -5
That's not a penis joke...and goddam is that played. Get some new material, please.
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Post by Mighty Jack on Nov 21, 2012 1:07:16 GMT -5
My parents were liberals too, but over the years ma's gone into 'reclusive, crazy lady' mode (I don't think it matters who was President, they'd all be ruining her life in some way).
Considering how increasingly reclusive I've become over the years, I'm beginning to fear for my future. I'm turning into an impoverished version of Howard Hughes... without the bottled collection of urine.
Thank's mom! Ah, heredity.
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Post by siamesesin on Nov 21, 2012 14:21:51 GMT -5
That's just old-man paranoia, MJ. Everybody gets that.
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