Rick Sloane Championship Wrestling

[Ro-matt]

Hey, get with the next match, this is about to get interesting.

[losingmydignity]

vanhagar3000 said:

losingmydignity said:

So where am I supposed to keep the time?

Is it on my side or not?

The timekeeper is the guy who is suppose to ring the bell. This being wrestling, I'll tell you who you hit with it later.

Dash can ring my bell

my bell

ding a ling a linga

[Ratso]

Night beat me up.

[vanhagar3000]

Now here is where it becomes more obvious who has the book.

Backstage- A Dumb, but cute looking, girl interviews Rat Fink.

Girl: Rat Fink, you’re coming out of retirement, what does that mean, and how does it feel?

Rat Fink: Some people claim that Dark Crow has truly stepped into my shoes as the oddball of Rick Sloane, after I stepped into Nighties shoes. Now in this Three Way Dance, I’m going to prove I still got what it takes to spam the night away and take back my title or most oddball poster of Rick Sloane. I’d also like to wish my close personal friend Van Hagar good luck in his match. He’s a good guy, and if Phantom tries anything on him, he better know Van Hagar has got a lot of friends in the backstage.

We now go to a depressed Gordon Solie with Dark Crow.

Gordon Solie: Dark Crow, you’ve held this title for over the course of several months. Some would say you’ve had a lack of competition due to the relative inactivity of nightfalcawk, and the temporary retirement of Rat Fink, formerly known as Ratso. Now you face, not one, but two of what will be toughest competitors in one match. Do you have a game plan for this type of match?

Dark Crow: I’d like to agree with Rat Fink that there are people who will back up Van Hagar should he need the help. But as far as new competition, I see now problem handling these two. They’re no different from the rest of the competition, except for the exceptionally great Van Hagar. And tonight, I’ll beat them both, whether it be with a tap out or the 1-2-3. That’s all I have to say.

Now to an interview package with nightfalcawk.

Nightfalcawk: GRRRRRRRRR, I hate Van Hagar, he stinks, grrrrrr. I promise tonight, that I’ll have a surprise for my two opponents that NO ONE will see. Preeow!

SECOND MATCH
ODDBALL HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPIONS
THREE WAY DANCE

Nightfalcawk comes out to “**** the World” by Pantera. The crowd gives him a relatively negative reaction, due to yelling preeow the whole way down.

Rat Fink, then comes down the funky Rat Fink chase scene pseudo Surfer Music song.

Dark Crow, comes out Alice in Chain’s “Man in the Box.”

Michael Buffer: Ladies and gentlemen, we now have a three way dance for the Oddball Heavyweight Championship. In the corner to my right, the first challenger from New York City, weighing in at 220 lbs. the Pretty Preeow Boy, Nightfa....I’m not saying this. Anyway, in the corner to my other right, from the floor of a bar, weighing in at 200lbs. the super sensational spammer, RAT FINK!

*Crowd Cheers*

Michael Buffer: And now, the champion, from Somewhere in Time and Space, weighing at 140 lbs. (Soaking wet) the Cutie Patootie, DARK COOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOW!

*Crowd Cheers, then laughs at the cutie patootie joke*

The bell rings, and the championship bout begins. Immediately, all three begin brawling. Soon, Dark Crow & Rat Fink begin to double team nightfalcawk (and this being wrestling, I guess there is an obvious joke there). They then throw him to the outside, and fight between the two of them. Nightfalcawk comes back in and gives Rat Fink a low blow, then rolls him up for two. Nightfalcawk then his a double underhook piledriver (which has been dubbed the Preeow piledriver) on Dark Crow, but Rat Fink breaks it up at two. Finally a double DDT is give to nightfalcawk (not the wrestling move, Rat Fink and Dark Crow just decide to spray him with a double dose of DDT when the referee wasn’t looking). They both cover him for the 1-2-3.

Michael Buffer: Ladies and gentlemen, nightfalcawk has been eliminated.

Nightfalcawk is frustrated and angry. He promises revenge. Rat Fink and Dark Crow go back and forth with the offense. Crow is able to hit an hurricanrana from the top rope for two. Nightfalcawk runs back down, and distracts the referee. Then suddenly.....









CHEMMY (nighties old buddy) runs down and hits Crow with a cell phones (from 1990, so it’s lethal) while the referee is distracted. Rat Fink hits a big boot, and then a legdrop. 1....













2.....












3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

RAT FINK WINS THE TITLE! RAT FINK WINS THE TITLE! RAT FINK WINS THE TITLE!

Michael Buffer: Ladies and gentlemen, the winner and NEW Oddball Heavyweight Champion- RAT FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNK!

[vanhagar3000]

More after these commercial considerations.

[Ro-matt]

hahaha

[Ratso]

HAHAHAHA YA Y CHEM!

[Ro-matt]

Congrats Ratso!!

[Ratso]

roman said:

Congrats Ratso!!

SNIFF

I have so many people to thank!

[vanhagar3000]

And now a special match from the MMWF (Mitchell Movie’s Wrestling Federation)- Mighty Jack faces Forrest in a grudge match. If Mighty Jack loses he will be forced to watch every Three Stooges short, if Forrest loses he has to watch every Pauley Shore movie made. To make sure things in this explosive match don’t get out of control, special guest referee- Van Hagar, because you guys can’t get enough of your Van Hagar!

Now to the video package of highlights of their feud!
“Kubrick’s cold!”- Mighty Jack
and that’s it from all I remember.

Mighty Jack comes out to Theme Music From Psycho. A group of fans dressed as droogies boo MJ, and MJ goes to jaw with those fans. Earlier today, Mighty Jack had this to say, “Tonight, I’m going to inflict on Forrest a fate worst than death. Tonight in front of a capacity audience, I’ll beat Forrest in the middle of the ring, and if he survives from that, he won’t survive the Pauley Shore movie marathon. Thankfully, I can be ensured that the great unbiased referee Van Hagar will certainly call things down the middle.”

Forrest comes out to Also Sprach Zarathustra. Immediately fans start chanting “WE WANT FLAIR!” Earlier today, Forrest had this to say, “While I’m sure Van Hagar will be able to keep things in control, I want things to get wild with Mighty Jack. I want to beat him from Pillar to post, from one side of the arena to the other. However, I think his punishment is actually a reward. Who doesn’t love the Three Stooges, unless you’re gay! And how could you possibly be gay in wrestling? Now I have to go oil up, put on my tights, in preparation for grappling with another man.”

Van Hagar comes out to Van Halen’s “Jump.” He receives a lavish entrance and is accompanied to the ring by several women as pyrotechnics go off. He then spends 10 minutes in the ring posing.

Michael Buffer: Now, in the corner to my right, from Nashville, Tennessee weighing in at 200 lbs., MIGHTY “THE MAULER” JACK! And in the corner to my left, from Las Vegas, Neveda weighing in at 190lbs., the Kubrick King, the Devilish Droogie, the Italian Stallion, oh wait, FORREST RICE!!!!!!!!! Then in the center of the ring, the man who is a legend in this sport, the man who gives it his all in his ring, hero to millions, loved by all, our special guest referee, “VICIOUS” VAN HAGAR.

*CROWD GOES WILD (really, they do)*

Michael Buffer: The referee will now give his instructions.

Van Hagar: Before the ring instructions, I want to talk about my opponents later tonight- Ro-Matt and TomServo69! Ro-Matt, I promise you after everything is said and done, I’ll send you crying back to Montana without a pack of Schlitz and a broken neck. TomServo69, what Sherman did to Atlanta is nothing compared to what I’m going to do to you southern boy! Y’all (said mockingly) better be worried, because Van Hagar is going to be coming at you, and inside a steel cage there is no where to go. Except when you’re up against Van Hagar, because I’ll push ya right through the mesh.

Mighty Jack and Forrest come forhead to forehead.

Van Hagar: Spread Out. (To Mighty Jack) Hey, Porcupine, come ‘ere a minute.(To Forrest) You too showderhead. Now, I don’t want no low blows, I don’t want no high blows, I don’t want no mid blows! I want good clean fight.

Forrest: (to Van Hagar): Hey Van Hagar, is this good. (Forrest is soaping up)

Van Hagar: You imbicle. (Van Hagar goes for a punch, but then stops) Remind me to kill you later! (To Mighty Jack) Now are you ready to wrestle?

Mighty Jack: Yeah

Van Hagar (to Forrest): Are you?

Forrest: Are you what?

Van Hagar: Ready to wrestle?

Forrest: Soitenly! N'yuk N'yuk N'yuk!

Van Hagar: Then wrestle.

Forrest and Mighty Jack circle each other. Forrest puts his fist out, Mighty Jack hits it, but it circles around and hits him. Mighty Jack slaps Forrest. Mighty Jack follows with the dreaded double eye poke OF DOOM! Forrest attempts the same, but Mighty Jack blocks with his hand. Mighty Jack puts on a boston crab.

Van Hagar: Do you want to quit?

Forrest: Mmmmmmmmh!

Mighty Jack releases the hold after Forrest reaches the ropes. Mighty Jack chokes Forrest, and Forrest barks. Forrest goes for another double eye poke, but MJ blocks again, however Forrest this time pokes him with fingers from two different hands. Forrest gets a series of round house rights, and is all fired up.

Forrest: Woo-woo-woo-woo! Woo-woo-woo-woo! Woo-woo-woo-woo!

Forrest goes for a clothesline, but so does Mighty Jack. Van Hagar ends up caught in the middle.

Forrest: Yauauaua!

Van Hagar gets up.

Van Hagar (to both): Why you....I’ll moider ya!

Mighty Jack: I’m sorry, Van Hagar, it was an accident!

Forrest: I’m a victim of soicumstance!

Van Hagar has just about had all he can take until the State Athletic Commission enters the ring. They stop the match, deeming Forrest’s punishment should he lose, cruel and barbaric.

Michael Buffer: Ladies and gentlemen, due to an injuction by the State Athletic Commission, this match has been called a no contest at nine minutes and fifty eight seconds.

Crowd: bullpoopie! bullpoopie! bullpoopie!

[dash]

vanhagar3000 said:

In the corner to my right, the first challenger from New York City, weighing in at 220 lbs. the Pretty Preeow Boy, Nightfa....I’m not saying this. Anyway, in the corner to my other right, from the floor of a bar, weighing in at 200lbs. the super sensational spammer, RAT FINK!
Then suddenly.....









CHEMMY (nighties old buddy) runs down and hits Crow with a cell phones (from 1990, so it’s lethal) while the referee is distracted. Rat Fink hits a big boot, and then a legdrop. 1....













2.....












3!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

RAT FINK WINS THE TITLE! RAT FINK WINS THE TITLE! RAT FINK WINS THE TITLE!

ROTF!!! that was great... hahahahhaha.

[Don Quixote]

Programs... get yer programs...

[Ro-matt]

I want a Ratso t-shirt!!!!

[eliservo]

Didn't I already wrestle Nerdie? And I didn't I already lose?

[Ratso]

roman said:

I want a Ratso t-shirt!!!!

So make one.