Moonbase Nine: The Fanvid

[regalo]

As some of you might already know, The Adventures of Officer Fender was the first Fanvid to be produced via a public access station. Well, the second episode of Moonbase Nine is in the works and it's called Thieves' Blood: The New Edition. The short video was made long ago by Kevin Rapp, the director of Reflex Action and Alfred Packer, and is one of his early home-made movies. Fanghorn the talking plant will reprise his role as, well, the talking plant, only this time he'll be singing too. Yes, there are two musical numbers in the show. What else is there? Oh, yes, and Phil Esquire of the Checkerboard Kids will play Commander Phil, the host of MB9. The script is written, the songs are finished, the props are ready and the blue-screen waits. Any questions are welcomed. Take care and be well.

[regalo]

The episode has been taped. The Host Segments are done. The Theater Segments are done. Now the show needs to be edited. It should be finished by the end of December. Then sometime in 2006 it will be aired on www.mnn.org. Does anybody know of any way to get the show displayed at say a sci-fi or horror convention? The show itself is sci-fi based but the short being riffed is a horror movie. Take care.

[regalo]

The End of Moonbase Nine ...

MOONBASE NINE COMMUNICATION TRANSCRIPT NO.1

(Commander Phil, Fanghorn the Talking Plant, etc.)

Question: Hi, Fanghorn.

Answer: Hello. Who are you?

Q: I'm the Interviewer. I set up this meeting. I'm calling to speak with you, ask a few questions.

A: Commander Phil is not here.

Q: Yes, he stepped out and that's why we're here, alone.

A: Alone?

Q: Yes, you and I. Now, let's begin ...

A: You're going to ask me questions? Is this some kind of joke? Who put you up to this? Was it Phil? Why are you on the Star Vision?

Q: You seem a bit tense, Fanghorn. Is everything all right on Moonbase Nine?

A: Yes. Everything is fine. Except ...

Q: Except what? Fanghorn, are you okay? Are you being treated all right?

A: I'm fine. I'm fine. It's just that ... Now is not a good time to talk. We dug something up, something buried deep in the moon, and we've brought it into the station.

Q: What is it?

A: A big square monolith, black, shiny kind of, and yet light does not reflect off it. And it makes a strange humming noise, and well, something's going on with Phil ...

Q: Something? Can you be a bit more specific?

A: (whispers) He's changing. Sometimes he's himself, and then, suddenly, poof, he's an old man, and then, poof, he's a little baby!

Q: This is incredible, Fanghorn. What are you doing to help him?

A: I am not into changing diapers. Old men scare me. I want the old Phil back!

Q: Have you informed Space Command? I'm sure they would do something to help him.

A: They're sending a ship to come pick him up. I think he's going back to earth for good. This means I'll be all alone.

Q: What are you talking about all alone? There are plenty of people on Moonbase Nine.

A: They've all changed into monkeys. GET OUT OF HERE! AND STOP EATING MY BANANAS!!!

Q: Sounds like you've got a serious situation.

A: You don't know the half of it. PUT ME DOWN! PUT ME DOWN!

(Fanghorn has been carried off by Ape-like creatures!)

Q: Fanghorn? Fanghorn?

(Phil appears on the Star Vision Monitor)

Phil: Hi. What's up?

Q: Commander Phil, Fanghorn was just carried off by monkeys!

A: Yeah, they've been doing that all day. He'll be okay.

Q: What's going on up there?

A: Well, you're not going to believe this, but, things have kind of gone a bit crazy.

Q: Try and explain ...

A: I really don't know how to explain it. I mean, I feel like I've been enlightened, and I can see the universe as it really is for the first time in my life.

(Phil turns into a baby then he's himself again!)

A: Sorry about that. That's been happening a lot lately. I'll try to get it under control.

Q: Phil, there's something really wrong here, I mean, these things just simply do not happen for no reason. What are you doing to remedy the situation.

A: Well, I try taking a lot of naps. That seems to help. But other than that what can I do but wait until it all stops.

Q: What if it never stops.

(Phil turns into an old man)

A: What did you say?

Q: I said, What if it never stops?

A: What if what never stops? GET AWAY FROM ME YOU SMELLY BRUTE! I'LL HIT YOU WITH MY STICK I WILL, SEE IF I WON'T!

(Phil is himself again)

A: Now, where were we?

(An ape attacks Phil and they tumble offscreen)

Q: Phil, Phil? Are you there?

(There is a mighty struggle and Phil and the ape appear onscreen, they seem to be fighting for the right to sit in the Commander's Chair)

A: It has to do with our animal side!

Q: What does?

A: Life! The Universe! Everything! It has to do with the animal in us! I'll explain! GET OUT OF MY CHAIR YOU HAIRY BEAST! Sorry, this just simply isn't going to work! I'm gonna have to cut this communication short!

Q: No, don't do that!

A: I have to! I have to get things under control around here somehow! And sitting here talking to you isn't going to do it!

Q: Phil, before you go, What is the Meaning of Life?

A: What?

Q: The Meaning of Life!

A: Resist all animal urges and you can achieve -- WE'RE UNDER ATTACK!!!

Q: What's going on?

A: Can't talk now! Gotta go!

(Phil leaves the screen. A monkey sits in his chair)

MONKEY: Oh oh ohoohh, ah ahah ha ha ha!!!

Q: Where's Commander Phil and Fanghorn?

A: Ohohoh ohoh oh, aha ahahaha aha!!!

Q: Oh, dammit, I give up!

A: OHO HOHOH HOHHOH, AHAHA HHA HAAHAAHAH!

(At this point the screen goes blank)

[regalo]

Moonbase Nine: "Little Green Men From Mars"

(a little throw-away story .... )

It didn't take long to feed and water Fanghorn, but, it had to be done at least four times a day. The talking plant needed no washing, just a well-lit room, which was a great relief to Phil who was responsible for keeping the little fellow alive. However, there were times when the plant just simply would not stop talking. It would keep on asking questions about earth: how many people were there? was it still safe for plants? and all the while munching on one of the station's computer laptops.

Phil took the laptop out of Fanghorn's mouth and put it aside. "And you've got to stop chewing on my personal computers. There's plenty of real food in the fridge, why don't you eat that?"

"I like the taste of Apples," said Fanghorn.

An alarm suddenly sounded. "Ah," said Phil, "we've got visitors!" He looked to the external monitors. "It's an alien vessel of some sort. Origin unknown."

"Greetings," said a squeaky-sounding voice. "We are from Mars." Little Green Men appeared on the Star Vision Monitor. "And we are here to submit a complaint."

"Oh yeah?" said Commander Phil, "what's the complaint?"

"We demand you stop making motion picture remakes of War of the Worlds."

"Yeah, you're giving us Martians a bad name. We're really not that bad a people."

"These movies show us in an extremely negative light, and we demand that your film-makers make films that show us in a much better light."

"Yes, like the kind, considerate, decent race we really are."

"Certainly. We take care of our poor, give free healthcare to the sick, and offer lollipops to anyone who asks for one."

"We love lollipops."

"Lollipops are cool."

"Look," said Phil, "what do lollipops have to do with anything?"

"Lollipops are the most important aspect of our planet's culture."

"Most everything we say or do is centered around the enjoyment of the lollipop."

"Would you like a lollipop?"

"No, I don't want any lollipops," said Phil.

"How about the plant, would he like a lollipop?"

"Uh, I'm not really hungry at the moment," said Fanghorn.

"We are most disappointed," said one of the little green men. "This means war!"

"Yes, war on a scale like you've never seen!"

"We will destroy this Moonbase and all that will be left is ashes! Then we will do the same to the earth!"

"Look, if we accept the lollipops, will you leave everything in one piece?" asked Phil.

"Most certainly," said one of the little green men.

"Then we accept," said Phil. "Leave your lollipops at the door."

"Very good. We will do as you say. And don't forget to relay our message to earth."

"I won't. You can count on it," said Phil. Then he whispered, "These guys are nuts."

"What flavor would you like?"

"Uh, strawberry?"

"Sorry, we're all out of strawberry. Try again."

"Uh, lemon?"

"Ugh! Lemons? They started the Great War of Nigelus Fourteen! How dare you insult us by asking for lemon lollipops?!"

"Prepare to level the Moonbase!"

"Multi-Blast Laser Cannons standing by!"

"Wait!" said Phil. "We didn't mean to offend you! I'm sorry I said lemons! Just leave any old flavor at the door!"

"Oh, okay. Since you apologize, we will forgive you, and we'll also do as you say. Farewell, earthlings. And enjoy your delicious lollipops."

"Goodbye," said Phil. "And thank you."

Later, Phil and Fanghorn were sucking on lollipops and playing a game of checkers.

"You know," said Phil. "These are not so bad."

"I agree," said Fanghorn. "What's the response from earth?"

"Oh, they think the crazy Martians are undeniably a threat to earth. Space Command is going to launch a nuclear missile attack and wipe out the entire Martian population before they can become an unpredictable danger."

"Good idea," said Fanghorn. "People that crazy must needs be annihilated."

"And to think they trusted us enough to reveal potential for violence and their evil plans against all of mankind."

"Yeah," said Fanghorn. "I would say they're nothing but a bunch of suckers."

[regalo]

Fanghorn's Exercise and Relaxation Technique:

Okay now, breathe in, breathe out, breathe in, breathe out, nitrogen in, oxygen out. Very good. Now, feel the breeze play with your leaves, very good. Feel that sunshine. Okay. Now shuffle your roots, c'mon, walk around a bit, get those roots moving you guys! You! Back there! You in the back! Why aren't you joining in? Get your trunk in gear! Okay, bend down, rise up, bend down, rise up! Think grow! Think grow! Say to yourself: I am a living thing and I am allowed to get pissed off when I'm pissed on! Go on, say it, it's okay! All right, let's all break for fruit flies!

[regalo]

Phil took care of the end credits, those are done, finished. I took care of the opening titles. Those are now done as well. Now on to the actual editing of the show. The opening titles are a mixture of hand-drawn art and iMovie magic. I can't wait to get some feedback on this, however. There are no shots of the cast in action, but then that's what is expected. I don't want to do what's expected. I want the show to have an original flavor that can only be achived by being different. Thieves' Blood is getting closer and closer to completion.

[regalo]

Moonbase Nine: Episode Two: Thieves' Blood has been completed. It was edited on a Mac G5 under iMovie HD and the titles were done using iMovie under Panther on a blue and white G3. The music was created under Mac OS 8.1 and 8.6 on beige G3s.

The show runs 24-minutes and is in color. However, the short film being riffed came from an old VHS copy. The music was added to that movie using an electronic Casio keyboard and a Tascam 4-track recorder. The camera used to edit the VHS New Editon was an old RCA Pro Edit.

I think the final product is a blast, regardless of its faults. Gotta go now. Take care.

[regalo]

Thieves' Blood is about three thieves (Gantry, Devon, and Sawyer) who perform an unspecified robbery that nets them 50 grand, but their driver (Marconi) drives off with the cash. They are forced to flee from the police and backtrack to their hideout in search of the driver and their money. When they arrive at the hideout the driver is not there and tempers flare. What results is a violent clash that takes place both in the imagination as well as in reality. Someone's gonna have to clean up the bloody mess when these boys are through hurting each other.

Moonbase Nine: Episode Two is about Commander Phil and his talking plant, Fanghorn. They are sent a movie once a week, and this week's movie happens to be Thieves' Blood. They sit in a darkened theater and watch the movie and make comments about what they see. Eventually, they are inspired to sing two songs based on the film, and towards the end receive a visual communication from someone on earth who has been watching their comic exploits.

[regalo]

an unexpected screening

I went down to the MNN Network to do the jazz show which I usually do technical direction for. I learned that Phil was in the Final Cut Pro class and I went upstairs to hand him his copies of the DVD to MB9 Ep.2. Ten o'clock rolled around and we went into the control room to begin setting up the small studio for a jazz musician who was set to come in and play some music. He was late and we felt we shouldn't order the sound equipment until the guy actually showed up. There were four people who had just done a sports talk show and they were there watching what they had just shot on the studio monitors. I tried nicely to tell them that it was our turn to use the studio and could they please go. I had a copy of the show on a mini-DV in my pocket and I wanted to show someone, anyone, the opening titles to get some feedback. So, I put the DVD tape in one of the decks and started up the show. I never expected that anyone would stay and see the whole show, not with things to do and places to go. Phil had just gotten out of his class and came into the control room. The show had been showing for about two minutes. When I saw him I said, "Let me rewind it, so you can see the opening titles." He said, "Okay." Three of the four sportscasters stayed behind, captivated by the shadowrama gimmick used in the show. I wondered if they'd ever seen MST3K and whether or not this was the first time they were witnessing the magic of shadowrama, because they seemed quite taken by the technique. Anyway, another facilitator walked in and watched for a minute or two, smiling, but with other things to do he eventually left. The cast of the previous show stayed behind. And they were laughing. I figured, what the hey, if they want to continue seeing the show I'll let it play through from beginning to end, right? Why stop it, right? I kept wondering when they were going to get tired and leave, but they stayed. Then came the middle skit, the song, and they still stayed. Then the movie started up again and they laughed at all the right spots. I was thrilled. The show was over and the end credits rolled and they were still there, watching, right up to the final excerpt from the movie sans shadowrama of any kind. The three strangers applauded and called it a good show. Phil was happy with the final edit and we spoke briefly about a third episode. Then he left. The rest of us stayed and waited for our musician but he never showed. That happens sometimes. The talent sometimes does not show up for the taping. But I didn't feel that my time was entirely wasted. I'd done an actual screening of the show and even with everyone standing and watching, it turned out to be a mini-success. I myself am very happy that Thieves Blood has far surpassed The Adventures of Officer Fender in terms of quality and comic timing. If this is any indication at all, we've got a funny show on our hands. And listening to those people laugh was like a getting a shot in the arm. I want to do another show, and soon. But first I promised a female artist I'd make a half-hour documentary about her. I learned something about doing this type of show ... that the half-hour format is especially good, that sometimes many people don't have two hours of their lives to spare to watch something that long, but, give it to them in a half-hour format and whammo!

[regalo]

If you don't have the equipment to make a fanvid, here's an article that contains a few hints on how to go about doing a fanvid through a public access station.

www.geocities.com/mst3kfanvids/misctuts/torrestut.html#tutstart

Keep in mind they won't let you riff a major Hollywood movie or even a low-budget independent film and show it on their station without the film-maker/studio's permission, so you're going to have to find a different way of picking the turkey you're going to roast. Take care.

[regalo]

Kevin Rapp, the director of Thieves Blood went on to direct feature films. Scott Sliger went on to do special effects for features. Here are some details from several of their projects ...

DEVOURED: THE LEGEND OF ALFRED PACKER: DIRECTOR -- KEVIN RAPP

Based on the horrifying true story of America's first convicted cannibal Alfred packer (who's story was satirized in Troma's best-seller Cannibal The Musical), Devoured takes a serious spin on the tale and features incredible suspense and gore effects.

In 1874, Alfred Pack led a gold mining expedition into Colorado where he murdered, robbed and ate every miner in his camp. Fifty years later, identical killings (and numerous disappearances) are still occurring. As the search for the killer proved never ending, the terrifying and unbelievable fact remained...Mr. Packer was still lurking out there somewhere...just waiting to strike again!

HORROR: SPECIAL MAKE-UP EFFECTS -- SCOTT SLIGER

Three female roommates are lured to a New York warehouse by a date on the promise of a party. But once there they meet two men, Ivan and Harry, who are professional monster hunters. However when they entered the warehouse one of the girls impaled her hand on a nail and this has inadvertently opened up a gateway to Hell and allowed demons and other creatures to emerge and take over the warehouse. The group's only hope is to survive until morning, otherwise all Hell will be loosed to roam the world.

[regalo]

Looking for a Bot's Name ...

At some point in a future episode of MB9 I'd like to create a bot that will sit in the theater every now and then with the fellas. However, this bot just makes noises and you can just barely understand what he's saying and it is basically the moonbase's repair droid. His name is yet to be decided. If you guys have any interesting names please feel free to post them, I'm open to hearing some possibilities at this point. TIA.

[CBG]

Ortega

[regalo]

Ortega. Hmmm. That's not bad. Not bad at all. That's a good one. I'll keep it in mind.

[regalo]

For those interested in mst-like fanvids, MB9 thieves blood (the new edition) has been confirmed ...

www.geocities.com/mst3kfanvids/thenews.html