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Post by Gamera on Aug 9, 2004 3:45:34 GMT -5
Loose your sanity trying to assemble Instrument Kits! Put together your own piano, guitar, trumpet, whatever. In stores now. (Extreme assembly required. May enduse headaches or depression.)
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Post by Bart Fargo on Aug 13, 2004 16:13:13 GMT -5
O.k... I'll admit to disaster.
Gamera 14, you win sousaphone lessons from Mr. B Natural.
Ralingkill, you win "Catching Ross" the home game.
What I would have done: Posture Pals kits. Comes with a board to make sure your posture is great all the time.
Next movie to merchandise: Terror from the Year 5000!
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Post by Detective Mitchell on Oct 2, 2004 21:18:52 GMT -5
(bump)
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Post by Gamera on Oct 3, 2004 8:18:34 GMT -5
Okay, I guess no one can come up with merchandise for Terror, and quamp seems to have abandoned the thread, so I'll take over.
Hmm this should be interesting; come up with merchandise for Santa Claus.
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Post by Bart Fargo on Oct 3, 2004 22:26:56 GMT -5
Well... I abandoned it because everyone else seemed to lose interest in it. So here's my merchandise item for Santa Claus: a flower that lets you fly places! Banned in several countries, one sniff of this flower and you'll be higher than a kite!
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Post by mrsphyllistorgo on Oct 5, 2004 20:23:01 GMT -5
TRY Big McLargeHuge PowerShake PowerDrink! It'll rip your abs, build your chest, bleach your hair and scour your throat like steel wool! Available in Chalk and Talcum Powder.
Get in now on this fabulous franchise opportunity! Run your own Outer Space Nightclub! We provide flashing dance floor, spandex, and neon drink mixes! Easily assembled in any basement! Ask for the Deluxe Package and get free set of Hula Hoops!
And for the ladies, the Trouser Armadillo! Soft plush inside and hard shell outside, protect your true gender identity and confuse the drunken lunks in your local Outer Space Nightclub! Available in Pink and Purple, cover removes for easy washing!
Whew, this is fun! I'm gonna be rich, I tell ya!
mrsphyllistorgo
C'mon, I found this place that makes these really healthy shakes.
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Post by Bart Fargo on Oct 24, 2004 9:25:16 GMT -5
TRY Big McLargeHuge PowerShake PowerDrink! It'll rip your abs, build your chest, bleach your hair and scour your throat like steel wool! Available in Chalk and Talcum Powder. Get in now on this fabulous franchise opportunity! Run your own Outer Space Nightclub! We provide flashing dance floor, spandex, and neon drink mixes! Easily assembled in any basement! Ask for the Deluxe Package and get free set of Hula Hoops! And for the ladies, the Trouser Armadillo! Soft plush inside and hard shell outside, protect your true gender identity and confuse the drunken lunks in your local Outer Space Nightclub! Available in Pink and Purple, cover removes for easy washing! Whew, this is fun! I'm gonna be rich, I tell ya! mrsphyllistorgo C'mon, I found this place that makes these really healthy shakes. Okay.... I give up. How does any of this relate to Santa Claus? (especially the Big McLargehuge thing?)
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Post by Gamera on Oct 24, 2004 12:49:42 GMT -5
How about your youngster's own 1/4th scale model of Santa's observatory? Spy on your neighbors with a giant telescope and a fan with a fake ear attached, and have nightmares for years with disturbing mechanical reindeer and foam puppet lips. Only $145 from your friends at Fisher-Price!
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Post by Slick's ghost on Nov 14, 2004 5:38:00 GMT -5
Naughty kit:
Yes, now YOU can be naughty like the three boys in Santa Claus! Includes a rock to throw through a shop widow, and...
Shut up and play with your rock.
Also:
NEW! Complete Poor Mexican Family's Christmas Kit! Fits in your pocket! Invisible!
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Post by Gamera on Nov 17, 2004 13:44:39 GMT -5
;D ;D
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Post by Bart Fargo on Jan 9, 2005 10:07:48 GMT -5
Let's try this one then...
#812 - The Incredibly Strange Creatures That Stopped Living & Became Mixed-Up Zombies
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Post by Gemini Man on Jan 9, 2005 10:38:54 GMT -5
Try our new Incredibly strong styling gel that will stack-up your hair so high, a hurricane couldn't knock it over.
For the scrawny foreigner with a bad accent, look no further than... HAROLDLabs tm
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Post by Gamera on Jan 9, 2005 12:35:55 GMT -5
New from Parker Bros., it's The Incredibly Strange Creatures Who Stopped Living and Became Mixed-Up Zombies Toungue Twister Board Game! With each draw of the card, you have to say a ridiculous, exhaustingly long movie title such as TISCWSLABMUZ three times fast! Move your way around the board and become the worst-ever movie director to win! Only $12.00 at any Toys 'R' Us or KB Toys establishment near you!
Also available is The Incredibly Strange Soda Mix! Comes uncolored and in a blank label, making the flavor a new, if disgusting, mystery each time!
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