|
Post by jkazoolien on May 16, 2009 11:53:14 GMT -5
"But there's no way we have enough road to hit 88 miles an hour!" Sacky protested.
"Roads? Where we're going, we don't need roads!" Dr. Brownbag retorted, putting on a pair of futuristic silver sunglasses.
With that, Dr. Brownbag hit a button, and a large missile destroyed half the city!
"Told you we didn't need roads!" said Dr. Brownbag, grinning maniacally. Pushing another button, a large plow popped out in front of the lunchbox. Dr. Brownbag put the pedal to the metal, as the plow cleared away the debris as the lunchbox barrelled foreward.
84...85...86...87...
|
|
|
Post by Captain Hygiene on May 16, 2009 20:41:14 GMT -5
...87.1...87.2...87.3...87.4...87.5...87.6...87.7...87.8...87.9...87.91...87.92...87.93...87.94...87.95...
|
|
|
Post by jkazoolien on May 18, 2009 0:46:16 GMT -5
88!
In a blinding flash off light, the lunchbox disappeared, leaving a trail of flames.
|
|
|
Post by dph on May 23, 2009 14:49:21 GMT -5
Sacky soon found himself in the future. The future was filled with what appeared to be clones of him. But something was wrong....
|
|
|
Post by jkazoolien on Jun 1, 2009 5:25:06 GMT -5
These clones, while looking, sounding, and acting exactly like him, were actually evil robots hell-bent on taking over the world!
|
|
|
Post by CBG on Jun 11, 2009 12:49:31 GMT -5
ctrl + alt + del
|
|
|
Post by Satchmo on Jun 11, 2009 22:57:38 GMT -5
Suddenly the robots all turned into the above cryptic message.
|
|
|
Post by jkazoolien on Jun 21, 2009 6:36:23 GMT -5
Sacky, saddened that his clone army had gone cryptic, hopped back into the lunchbox, and set the coordinates for the Old West. "Maybe I'll meet Billy the Kid! or Wyatt Earp! or even Jesse James! Heck, I'd settle for his assassin, that coward Robert Ford!" As the lunchbox was traveling between times, a rogue neutron violently struck the side of the lunchbox. This threw its coordinates off, and rather than ending up in the Old West, Sacky found himself in Beijing, 1818. "The Old EAST?" Sacky wondered aloud.
|
|
|
Post by CBG on Jun 22, 2009 3:39:16 GMT -5
Waking from his fever-dream, Sacky found himself alone in a school locker, carrying someone's lunch.
|
|
|
Post by jkazoolien on Jun 23, 2009 0:09:27 GMT -5
"What an I doing in this locker, and why am I holding some kid's lunchbox?" Sacky wondered aloud. Sacky let the lunchbox drop from his hand with a thud, took some plasticine, and blew the lock right off the locker! When the smoke cleared, Sacky jumped down to the floor, and headed right for the exits. But before he could get very far, the between-class bell rang, and Sacky found himself in a thrall of students coming at him from all directions. Sacky expertly worked his way through the crowd, and ducked into the janitor's broom closet.
|
|
|
Post by CBG on Jun 23, 2009 16:15:58 GMT -5
In the closet, Sacky ran into his Uncle Stinky, who was employed at the school as holder of the janitor's 'at-work' porn collection.
|
|
|
Post by jkazoolien on Jun 25, 2009 9:50:34 GMT -5
"Hi, Uncle Stinky!" Sacky said. "Hey, Sacky!" Uncle Stinky said "Did some kid stuff you in his locker again?" "Yeah, they can be so mean sometimes." "Well, don't worry, Sacky! Someday you'll find someone who'll like you for who you are!" "A paper sack?" "Um...yeah." "Ohhhhhh-kay!"
|
|
|
Post by solgroupie on Jun 25, 2009 10:08:05 GMT -5
sadly, sacky's thoughts turned to suicide again.
|
|
|
Post by Captain Hygiene on Jun 25, 2009 10:10:02 GMT -5
Quietly, off somewhere in the distance, the MASH theme began to play on a radio.
The version with lyrics.
|
|
|
Post by jkazoolien on Jun 25, 2009 10:30:12 GMT -5
As Sacky begin to crush the pills into his orange juice, he couldn't help but sing along.
A brave man once requested me to answer questions that are key 'is it to be or not to be' and I replied 'oh why ask me?'
'Cause suicide is painless it brings on many changes and I can take or leave it if I please. ...and you can do the same thing if you choose.
"Huh! Never realized the last line didn't rhyme." Sacky pondered, as he lifted the glass of pill-tainted orange juice to his lips.
|
|