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Post by TV's Cowboy on Apr 3, 2004 13:34:28 GMT -5
Seeing as how someone brought up the Final Sacrifice video cover again and somebody else showed the video cover to Mitchell it got me thinking. How about I make a game where we riff the movie posters and box art to MSTed films? Today I decided to use the video cover to Future War So get cracking!!
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yousonuva
Moderator Emeritus
I'm not insane but I am King of the Universe
Posts: 14,309
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Post by yousonuva on Apr 3, 2004 13:43:01 GMT -5
Watch! flying robotic monkey heads not crash on planet earth! Witness! oily neanderthals swipe at thin air and fall down! Experience! nothing Vomit! all over your companion's new dress at the horrors of stupidity Kill! anything that places this movie in the vcr unmistied
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Post by Miss Interoceter on Apr 3, 2004 17:18:08 GMT -5
You will believe a druggy prostitute is a nun. You will believe nuns live with big beefy guys. You will believe dinosaurs can be any size depending on the angle. You will believe shirts can fall off on their own. And you WILL believe in a cardboard camera!
FUTURE WAX!
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Post by Buddhist Kitten on Apr 3, 2004 18:29:50 GMT -5
Daniel Bernhardt as that role that Scharzenegger wouldn't except in . . . FUTURE WAR!! Also starring: The director favorite's prostitute. (Honey Buns) An illegal immgrant that lives next door to the director of photography and . . . JAMES BROWN!!!* Written by Dom Magwili while he was a drug addict and his mom. Directed by Anthony Doublin half-assed-ly because he need to pay child support.
In theaters . . . IF THEY MAKE ANOTHER MST3K MOVIE!!
* A JAMES BROWN!!! impersonator.
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Post by Bart Fargo on Apr 4, 2004 13:52:26 GMT -5
Wow, Daniel Bernhardt is strong if he can lift that huge thing with one fist! Marvel! As Daniel Bernhardt has wounds that suddenly heal and come back! Feel the chills! As the first cyborg magically looses and regains his makeup! You too will believe that a Tyrannosaurus Rex can be 3 feet high!
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Post by Ator on Apr 4, 2004 17:50:03 GMT -5
FUTURE WAR: Starring no-one you've ever heard of in a tale of nothing exciting.
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Post by nightfalcawk on Apr 4, 2004 17:57:44 GMT -5
Past Predator Present Alien Future Terminator All glibly thrown together on the director's whim!
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Post by losingmydignity on Apr 5, 2004 2:49:36 GMT -5
[glow=red,2,300]THE FUTURE IS BACK![/glow] [glow=red,2,300]THE FUTURE IS NOW![/glow] [glow=red,2,300]FUTURE FURY[/glow] [glow=red,2,300]FUTURE FUN[/glow] [glow=red,2,300]FUTURE FRENZY[/glow] FUTURE FUDGE
FUTURE WAR!
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Post by Detective Mitchell on Apr 5, 2004 5:45:56 GMT -5
POP QUIZ! See who had a career after this!
Starring the stand in for Jean Claude Van Damme
I'll say, it looks like another crappy UNIVERSAL SOLDIER sequel...
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Post by al27 on Apr 6, 2004 8:30:35 GMT -5
Starring Daniel Bernhardt, in the role he thought would make him famous...
(I actually saw this movie while visiting my grandparents in Sheyboygan, WI at the local Wal Mart for $5 on DVD. Needless to say, I had a good laugh then spent my money on something better.)
-al27
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Post by TV's Cowboy on Apr 8, 2004 8:02:54 GMT -5
Okay it looks like we are about done with Future War so let's move on to the next victem shall we? Our next loser is the now classic video cover to Soultaker with the critic's praises on it My riff-You know they're right this movie is as good as Ghost.........Dad with Bill Cosby
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yousonuva
Moderator Emeritus
I'm not insane but I am King of the Universe
Posts: 14,309
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Post by yousonuva on Apr 8, 2004 10:38:51 GMT -5
Of course "A Chilling And Powerful Experience" continues around to the back of the poster to read "...For Me To Poop On." -Triumph the Insult Critic
Looks to me from that poster, Joe is in that Warner Bros. suspended animation position, where any second now, he's gonna realize there's no ground......any second now.....aww screw this movie!
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Post by Buddhist Kitten on Apr 8, 2004 15:09:21 GMT -5
"A remarkable film. . . Don't miss it! Now where is my money?" Random Crackhead on street.
"Star and Writer Vivian Shilling could quite possibly be the leading lady of the 90's if the 90's were the 1850's and everyone then was thrice as stupider as they were back then." -Simon Cowell.
There is no stairway to heaven. . . that's right, the song is non-existent.
SOULTAKER. Staring a Sheen relative and some girl.
In theaters . . . COUPLE OF YEARS AGO!
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Post by Detective Mitchell on Apr 9, 2004 20:04:17 GMT -5
"Lucy, I'm dead!" (yes, I know I stole that one from MST3k [prepares to be hit by rocks])
"A remarkable film. Don't miss it... as much as your mother in law when she's away."
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Post by Bart Fargo on Apr 10, 2004 12:53:15 GMT -5
"'A chilling and powerful film experience' - Tom Brown, WYBZ radio."
One that will take years of intensive psychotherapy to overcome.
"'Star and writer Vivian Schilling could quite possibly be the leading lady of the 90's.' - Douglas Kirshiner, Video Insider"
Leading everyone down the road to mediocrity and stupidity!
"'Good looking thriller' - Michael Dare, Bilboard"
It makes up for its lack of substance that way.
"There is no stairway to heaven."
They replaced it with an elevator several years ago. It now looks like the boiler room in your high school's basement.
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