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Post by Captain Hygiene on Sept 24, 2006 23:52:52 GMT -5
That's OK, I will have much more fun as a vengeful ghost.
May you reek so much that Earth is reclassified from space as a toxic waste dump.
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Post by Bart Fargo on Sept 25, 2006 18:28:04 GMT -5
You mean the earth's classification will improve because I smell? Maybe I should stop bathing.
Your account will be hacked and you will be banned for trolling.
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Post by Captain Hygiene on Sept 25, 2006 19:09:26 GMT -5
With so much free time on my hands, I start my own business, and become filthy rich. Then I buy the site and ban everyone else.
The next time you turn the ignition key, your car will explode.
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Post by jkazoolien on Sept 25, 2006 22:21:08 GMT -5
"My wonderful brother, start my car for me, would you?"
May two right-wing pundits come to your house and never leave.
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Post by Crapythe on Sept 26, 2006 11:58:23 GMT -5
I have such a large mansion that I leave them an entire wing of my estate where they can make the right decisions. I never see them again.
May aliens abduct you and leave you stranded on the moon after they experiment on your mind.
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Post by Captain Hygiene on Sept 26, 2006 16:42:10 GMT -5
I would be lonely there, except that the "experiments" they did left me with infinite telekinetic and psychic powers. I convert the moon into a battle station and take over the earth.
May all the bones in your body mysteriously disappear while you are on live, national televison.
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Post by Bart Fargo on Sept 26, 2006 19:10:53 GMT -5
I join the circus as that wonder "the boneless man."
Your home will be destroyed in a natural disaster, and your insurance will not pay.
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Post by Mitchell on Sept 26, 2006 20:20:11 GMT -5
That's fine, I'll just let you work off the debt. . .
I curse you to a million "lumberjack swirlies"
(a lubmerjack swirlie is a normal swirlie. . .with a log. . .)
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Post by Crapythe on Sept 26, 2006 22:27:37 GMT -5
Fine. Too bad those lumber jacks walked off crying. What? They don't like saw dust?
You are cursed to whistle the theme from the Andy Griffith show where ever you go.
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Post by Captain Hygiene on Sept 28, 2006 0:11:41 GMT -5
That's fine, my life is made more interesting by the homespun humor and family values that spontaneously spring up around me, as well as the comedic buffoonery of Don Knotts.
Your facial features will mysteriously appear on your butt starting tomorrow at 8 AM sharp.
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Post by Mitchell on Sept 30, 2006 16:00:10 GMT -5
Great! Now I can moon people at work without worring about getting fired!
I curse you to an everlasting hangover.
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Post by jkazoolien on Oct 1, 2006 21:34:15 GMT -5
Thank goodness for my bottomless bottle of Maalox!
May all your meals (even when you go out to eat OR order in) be burnt.
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Post by Captain Hygiene on Oct 4, 2006 0:14:16 GMT -5
The money I receive to keep quiet about the poor service from all the restaurants more than makes up for the slightly off-putting flavor of my food.
You will magically receive the power to gain 5 pounds for every gram of food or drink you ingest, no matter what it is.
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Post by jkazoolien on Oct 5, 2006 0:02:30 GMT -5
Guiness Book of World Records, here I come!
May Freddy Krueger haunt your dreams every night.
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Post by Afgncaap5 on Oct 5, 2006 0:05:03 GMT -5
Well, my dreams always involve Broadway Showtunes, so I guess I'll finally be able to see the Frankly Freddy musical that I thought of a few summers back.
May your fortune cookies give you proverbs.
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