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Post by jkazoolien on Oct 5, 2006 0:10:26 GMT -5
OH MY GOD, A TALKING FORTUNE COOKIE!
May you never be able to quit smoking (and if you don't smoke, may you start and THEN never be able to quit).
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Post by Captain Hygiene on Oct 5, 2006 14:43:50 GMT -5
I look so awesome and cool smoking that people fall over themselves to donate their lungs to me.
You now have beaver-like teeth that grow incessantly and will grow into your brain and kill you if you do not constantly wear them down.
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Post by Bart Fargo on Oct 5, 2006 18:45:33 GMT -5
I already have that, so no big deal to me.
You will babble incoherently about your homocidal tendencies in front of people you want to impress.
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Post by Chuck on Oct 5, 2006 20:04:34 GMT -5
Like today should be different than any other day?
Every time you walk by a vegetable stand, you will uncontrollably start singing He's A Rebel at the top of your lungs.
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Post by Crapythe on Oct 7, 2006 17:23:46 GMT -5
Business booms at the vegetable stand and the merchants pay me to shop there.
May all your nylons get runs.
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Post by Captain Hygiene on Oct 8, 2006 18:16:56 GMT -5
OK, all zero of my nylons have runs.
Your brain becomes smaller with each passing moment until you have negative intelligence.
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Post by Bart Fargo on Oct 11, 2006 17:52:04 GMT -5
I'll fit in just fine as a Republican.
Dominationcorptm will put your company out of business, leaving your broke and homeless.
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Post by Captain Hygiene on Oct 13, 2006 22:52:08 GMT -5
Dominationcorp's acquisition conveniently takes place mere seconds before I would have pushed the button to set into play a multi-billion dollar embezzlement scandal. My now-uncheckered past lets me start anew, eventually enabling me to become leader of the Free World.
From now on, you will need to hear even the simplest sentence at least five times before you begin to understand it, alienating you from friends, family, and the rest of the human race.
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Post by jkazoolien on Oct 20, 2006 12:39:11 GMT -5
I'm sorry, what was that?
May random strangers come up and punch you in the face on a daily basis.
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Post by Crapythe on Oct 21, 2006 18:19:20 GMT -5
I wear a full face helmet.
You are now cursed to walk like an Egyptian.
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Post by Afgncaap5 on Oct 21, 2006 21:51:33 GMT -5
I become the ultimate (and most highly paid) spy, as my super-thin body can walk right through door cracks even when they're closed.
You are cursed to speak entirely in chat speak and emoticons.
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Post by Captain Hygiene on Oct 22, 2006 20:56:28 GMT -5
LOL W00T! I PWN EVRY1!!! Your breath now has the uncontrollable power to kill, and will first strike down your loved ones.
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Post by Bart Fargo on Oct 24, 2006 19:08:57 GMT -5
I get sent to Iraq and control the insurgency in no time flat!
You will have disgusting-looking hair growing out of your nose and ears forever.
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Post by MSTie500 on Oct 24, 2006 19:13:38 GMT -5
I will be invincible because no-one can look at me before they are given the same curse.
You will be trapped inside a giant ant colony.
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Post by Apostasy's Angel on Oct 26, 2006 9:20:24 GMT -5
This isn't so bad...that ants are so large compared to my body that I am unnoticed and escape unharmed.
You will drown in a vat of old liquifying cheese curds.
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