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Jokes
Sept 19, 2011 11:52:20 GMT -5
Post by GProopdog on Sept 19, 2011 11:52:20 GMT -5
Since Halloween is a few weeks away:
A young boy dressed as a pirate for Halloween goes trick or treating on his block. Ringing the bell of one of his neighbors, he is greeted by a little old lady, who smiles and gives him some candy.
"There you are young man..." she goes, before, after putting on a look of mock fright, she continues. "Oh my, and tell me....where are your buccuneers?"
After a pause, the lad points to his hat and goes "Well....they're right under my buccun-cap...."
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Jokes
Oct 11, 2011 21:32:08 GMT -5
Post by Frameous on Oct 11, 2011 21:32:08 GMT -5
The Dali Lama walks into a pizza place and says "Make me one with everything."
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Jokes
Oct 16, 2011 1:55:04 GMT -5
Post by Frameous on Oct 16, 2011 1:55:04 GMT -5
How many hipsters does it take to unscrew a lightbulb?
It's a really obscure number, you've probably never heard of it.
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Jokes
Oct 20, 2011 13:06:13 GMT -5
Post by mummifiedstalin on Oct 20, 2011 13:06:13 GMT -5
A friend told me a horrible joke about Steve Jobs. But there's no way I can make it PC.
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Jokes
Jun 4, 2012 19:42:25 GMT -5
Post by Frameous on Jun 4, 2012 19:42:25 GMT -5
Mexican American jokes and African American Jokes are all pretty much the same.
Once you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal.
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Jokes
Jun 5, 2012 9:25:34 GMT -5
Post by GProopdog on Jun 5, 2012 9:25:34 GMT -5
A Polish man is going skydiving for the first time. While up in the plane with the instructor, he is receiving his final instructions before leaping for the first time: "Ok Sir, it's really simple..." the instructor says. "When you leap out of the plane, take a deep breath, exhale, count to ten, then pull the red cord. Your parachute will open, and you'll glide to safety." The Polish man nods, takes his place near the door of the plane, and leaps out of the plane. With that, the instructor sits down to relax. Two minutes later though, there is a knock at the plane door. Then another, then another. Curious, the instructor finally goes over and opens up the plane door to reveal the Polish man.
"Hey, quick question....what do I do after I count to ten again?"
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Jokes
Jun 5, 2012 10:33:37 GMT -5
Post by GodoHell on Jun 5, 2012 10:33:37 GMT -5
This is the one joke I learned as a child that still tickles me to this day:
Q: What's invisible and smells like carrots?
A: Bunny farts.
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Jokes
Jun 28, 2012 20:00:49 GMT -5
Post by Frameous on Jun 28, 2012 20:00:49 GMT -5
**Nerd Alert**
What's the internal temperature of a Tauntaun?
Luke warm.
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Jokes
Jul 3, 2012 19:36:48 GMT -5
Post by Trumpy's Magic Snout on Jul 3, 2012 19:36:48 GMT -5
Did you hear about the carrot that died?
There was a big turnip at his funeral.
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Jokes
Sept 22, 2012 13:08:10 GMT -5
Post by Satchmo on Sept 22, 2012 13:08:10 GMT -5
My brother recently called me to introduce me to the "Latvian joke":
*best if read in a bad Eastern European accent* "What is difference between dog in street and Latvian?
Dog in street has fur coat to keep him warm. Also, freedom."
"Latvian man comes home with potato in one hand, baby in other.
He eats potato first."
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Jokes
Oct 3, 2012 16:03:01 GMT -5
Post by Frameous on Oct 3, 2012 16:03:01 GMT -5
What do you call a teacher who doesn't fart in public?
A private tutor.
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Jokes
Oct 8, 2012 18:19:43 GMT -5
Post by Frameous on Oct 8, 2012 18:19:43 GMT -5
What do you call a psychic midget that has escaped from prison?
A small medium at large.
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Jokes
Oct 13, 2012 21:27:54 GMT -5
Post by Frameous on Oct 13, 2012 21:27:54 GMT -5
What do Mexican's cut their pizza with?
Little Caesars.
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Jokes
Oct 16, 2012 14:04:44 GMT -5
Post by Afgncaap5 on Oct 16, 2012 14:04:44 GMT -5
So a physicist, a biologist, and a mathematician were having lunch at a table just outside of a cafe. Across the street they saw a house and, as they were beginning to eat, they saw two people enter. Later, when they were just wrapping up eating, they saw three people leave.
The physicist said, "The original quantities must have been mismeasured."
The biologist said, "The specimens must have reproduced."
The mathematician said, "Now if another person goes into that house, it'll be empty again."
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Jokes
Oct 17, 2012 10:24:32 GMT -5
Post by nondescript spice on Oct 17, 2012 10:24:32 GMT -5
*adjusts mic* ahem...
what does a nosy pepper do?
gets jalapeno your business.
*leaves stage in shame*
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